Contrasting Realities 32

It was a while before I heard his voice in the corridor looking for me. By that time, I was already halfway down the stairs, since I didnt have it in me to wait for the elevator. I took the stairs two steps at a time, being very careful not to trip. When I got to the bottom of the stairs, I ran through the lobby, knowing very well I attracted lots of attention behind me.

Until I stepped out of the hotel.

Into the pouring rain.

Yet again, with nowhere to go.

I reckoned it was about 7pm now, but I had no phone, no watch, no wallet and no destination. And no intention of finding one either. So I just turned to my left and started walking. Not strike that, it was more like a jog. And from there on, I just kept walking, waiting for the streets to take me somewhere...anywhere.

I wish I could say I was thinking about this and that, or analyzing this and that, or feeling guilty over this and that..

but I wasnt...

I was just blank...completely blank.

No feelings, no emotions, no thoughts....

Nothing.


It was still early January, and the city was dressed in all sorts of lights from Christmas. I walked in the rain admiring their beauty, all the while amazed by how a bunch of lightbulbs could make me smile.

I wasnt sure if I was walking very slowly, or if the slow motion was all in my head, but eventually, I found myself at an intersection, and through the pouring rain I saw Hyde park across the street. Perfect, I thought to myself. It couldnt have come at a better timing. Deep down, though, I was pretty sure my subconscious dragged me here, if that was at all possible.

I crossed the very slippery streets, nearly losing my balance a few times, and ended up at the gate. Then I walked in, and made my way to my favorite place in the world: the lake.

As I passed that infamous tree struck by lightning, I muttered a silent prayer thanking God there was none today. I was glad to find that all the benches were empty, and I quickly skipped to my favorite bench next to the cafe, only to realize how stupid that was when I got there. After all, what was I expecting, that someone will beat me to it?

It was my first time in Hyde Park at night. I've been warned numerous times about how scary the place gets at night, and how its very easy to get mugged there. None of that mattered though. It was raining. It was quiet. It was peaceful.

I could hear nothing save for the sound of the rain falling on the grass and water. I could see nothing save for the rain falling on the grass and water.

It was perfect.

I took in all its serenity and tranquility, and with every breath I took I felt my heart rate slow down and I felt myself regaining composure. Slowly, the numbness started subsiding, and feelings slowly came back. I could now feel the rain trickling down my forehead from my soaked hair, and I could hear it playing melodies as it hit the lake in small and big droplets, quickly and slowly, forcefully and softly. Some falling straight from the heavens, and some off the dancing trees hanging above it. Some falling from the heavens, to the trees, to my hair, then trailing down my body and clothes, onto the floor and into the lake.

I closed my eyes and felt the connection between my body, and the lake, and the rain, and the trees, and the sky. Suddenly, a strange sense of peace dawned upon me, like nothing in the world could hurt me.

And even though I expected it to disappear as soon as I heard his voice, it didnt.

“Haya...”

Even though I didnt hear his footsteps, he didnt startled me. I didnt cry. I didnt collapse. I didnt break down. I didnt even flinch. Or turn around for that matter.

“M7ammad...”

There was a moment of silence. I could tell he was confused, thinking of what to say.

“Shga3tsawen?” He was standing still.

“Ga3da...” I spoke, once again without turning around.

“Eb hal mu6ar?” He spoke and this time, his voice grew closer as he walked towards me.

“ee”

“Mo bardana?” He was now by the bench.

“La2” I spoke as I looked out into the darkness of the lake.

He walked over and kneeled infront of me, holding my hand. He was looking into my eyes, but I was still looking ahead. I could see his baby blues lighting up the place from the corner of my eyes, but I refused to face him.

“Haya...” He brought his hand to my face, turning it towards him, “are you okay?”

He was wearing the same clothes he was earlier. He obviously left in a rush since he wasnt even wearing a jacket. His hands were trembling on my face and as he gripped my hand. His eyes were filled with emotions, so many conflicting emotions that I couldnt even comprehend, but I'm pretty sure concern made the vast majority of them. The rain was flowing down his face so vigorously, but he wasnt even blinking as it hit his face. He was just staring at me.

It was now my turn to reach for his face. I placed my palm on his face, and traced his features with my fingertips. I felt his soaked hairline, his tense temples, his dripping eyebrows, the soft corners of his eyes, his strong cheekbones, and when they got to the corner of his lips, I looked up into his eyes once again. He was looking at me with a dazed expression on his face. I could tell he was confused, and unsure of how he should react. I felt his lips tremble underneath my fingers, as he opened his mouth, but sealed it shut again, changing his mind about whatever it is that he was going to say.

I smiled.

He placed his hand on top of mine as I gently stroked his face. Then, he moved it towards his mouth and kissed the inside of my palm with his eyes closed. Even through the rain, I still felt his soft lips gently caressing my palm.

He then opened his eyes and looked up at me with his big blue eyes.

“A7ibich Haya”

I looked down again, feeling the guilt coming over.

“Haya please 6al3eny”

I didnt. So, he turned my face towards him.

“A7ibich Haya...w8asaman billah I do...wghalatich 3indy I do...oo if you give me a chance, just once chance, I promise you wont regret it. I'll treat you like a princess. No, I'll treat you like a goddess. Like the goddness that you are. I promise I'll make you the happiest girl in the world,” he spoke very quickly, like this was his last chance and he was desperately trying to squeeze in as much as he can in so little time, “oo I promise those tears you cried would be the last tears you ever cry as long as I'm with you. I promise eni a3awthech 3an all these tears. I promise I'll never make you cry. I swear Haya, just give me a chance and you'll be the happiest-” he rambled on.

Realizing he was out of breath, I placed my fingers over his lips “Shhhh...”

“Laa Haya mo shhh...I've been quiet for long enough and look where it's got me. Bas enough I cant keep it in anymore. I cant pretend watching you with someone else is okay anymore. I cant pretend watching you slipping through my fingers is okay anymore. Bas khalas Haya mani gader. I cant pretend-”

I leaned over and placed my lips on top of his, and kissed them softly. I felt him stiffen up for a few seconds, and I could feel his hesitancy. I kept my lips plastered on his until I felt him loosen up. Then, I felt his wet lips kissing me back as he cupped my face in his palms.

Feelings could not be described.

Neither could the intoxicating combination of sweat, rain and M7.



Love was in the air...or rather rain...