Monday, January 11

Contrasting Realities 31

btethb7ony, 9a7? i'm sorry...adry yabeely 6ag :s
bas wallah wallah i've been very busy

and also, sorry for not getting back to your comments in the last few posts..
bas inshallah b2ethn Allah etha Allah rad, i will be khosh bloggera from now on =D

soooo until next time...a7ibkoooooom!!
and i miss you wayed wayed wayed!! ;**

ps: oo yakhy sub7an allah elinspiration ma eyee ela 7azzat lemte7anat ;Pp

got 2 exams in the next 3 days, so ed3oly...ed3oly as much as you enjoy this post! =D

pps: ehda2 7ag nwair whom i started this (very very diffucult to write for personal reasons that you know about) post for to begin with, and wallah it just finished today...bemonasabat belated jan 9th haha ;Pp


Even though I felt myself waking up slowly, I fought the urge to open my eyes. I was afraid that maybe I'd find out this was all a dream and I'd wake up alone once more...that this was simply one of my fantasies yet again. I sank deeper into what I vividly remembered was his arms, and dug my face deeper into what I vividly remembered was his chest, and inhaled what I vividly remembered was his M7.

But I kept my eyes closed.

What if this were all a dream? What would I do then?

I tried to push away all thoughts out of my head, for the more I thought, the more alert I became...and the more alert I became, the more I feared I'd wake up...which made me think even more.

And the cycle kept on going.

Until I was aware enough to recognize what I was listening to.

Lub Dub. Lub Dub. Lub Dub. Lub Dub. Lub Dub. Lub Dub.

His heartbeats. Just like I remembered them the last time they mesmerized me. Just like I remembered them the last time they kept me safe.

Then I felt his chin resting on the crown of my head. As he breathed, I felt his breath tickle the roots of my hair near my bangs, and as it fell on my forehead near my eyes.

Then I felt his fingers tracing their way across my forehead and eyebrow, moving the hair away from my eyes and securing it behind my ears. He lay his fingers there for a few moments, and I heard him whispering something, but I couldnt tell what he was saying.

I opened my eyes to find him, not staring, but gazing at me. Our eyes locked for a few seconds without a single word being spoken. I was lost in his baby blues.

“9ba7 elgumar”

I blushed in response, sinking deeper into his chest.

“You look gorgeous when you blush, you know?”

I turned into a deeper shade of crimson. So I tried to change the subject.

“What time is it?”

“Nearly 3pm”

“Wow! I've asleep for that long?”

“Yeah...I guess you were pretty beat”

“Kilish ma 7asait blwagt,” I spoke as I dug my face deeper into his chest, “ent nemt?”

“Not really”

“3yal shino sawwait?”

“I was watching you” he said his eyes locked into mine.

I looked down, feeling heat radiating out of my face.

He used his fingers to lift my chin up to look at his blue eyes again.


I was melting with every syllable, every voice, every sound.

“Uhmmm?” was all I could pour out of my mouth.

“You're beautiful”

I felt myself grinning and blushing, but he wouldnt let me look down.

“Oo elmafrooth ma tist7een lma people tell you facts about yourself, ok?”

My grin grew even wider as I looked into his eyes. His eyes that were now smiling at me.


I lay my head back on his chest and inhaled his scent. I felt him running his fingers through my hair, and twirling my locks in between his fingers. Everytime he would reach the end of a lock, it would slip out of his fingers, and they would reach back to my face, tracing my forehead, my eyebrows and my ears in the process, until they reach my hairline. He would then plant a soft kiss on my forehead while wrapping a new lock of hair around his fingers, repeating the process.

We sat there for what seemed like an eternity, in total silence save for the sound of our breaths and beating hearts. Never did I feel so relaxed in someone's presence before, never mind M7ammad's. Never did I feel so safe. Never did I feel at such ease.

Even when I was with 3abboud, I was always worried about what I was doing, that maybe its wrong that I'm leading him on when deep deep deep down I knew I wasnt in love with him. But now...everything felt right.

Even though I knew what I was doing was wrong, that I had someone back home, that I should atleast give him the courtesy of ending things before I did this....even though I knew I was cheating, everything felt so right. The way his arms wrapped around me...the way his chest felt underneath my face...the way we just fit so perfectly into each other.

Everything felt so right. Like pieces of a puzzle finally...yes finally...falling together. Finally fitting completely and not just close enough....not just as good as it gets.

Everything just felt so...perfect.

My thoughts were interrupted by my stomach growling. I involuntarily wrapped it in my arms and spoke to it. “Shhhhhh!!”

He laughed.

“La teth7ak” I pouted.

“7beebty yo3ana?”

“Not really...bas I havent eaten anything since ams so I guess my tummy shway m3tartha” I tried to speak normally, pretending the 7beebty part didnt sweep me off my feet.

“Yallah 3ayal lets go eat...oh my God its 6 already” he said, trying to get up. But I pushed him back down.


“Shfeech hayooya?” He was concerned.

“Maby...i just wanna sit here...with this...maby agom...maby at7arak” The words all came out of my mouth at one go before I had any chance to stop them. I realized what I said only after they did. By then it was too late.

Embarrassed, I quickly got off his chest. Only this time he was the one who pulled me back down to him, our faces inches apart.

“3yal why are you leaving me?” he said, looking me straight in the eye.

I avoided his question as well as his gaze.

“Haya” he said, tilting my chin in his direction. I didnt know if I froze or melted everytime he touched me.

“I'm in love with you”


I dont know...

But what I do know is that all I read in romantic novels and all I saw in movies all this time was nothing....nothing...compared to how this felt.

I didnt realize I had closed my eyes while listening to his words until I felt his lips on my cheeks. So warm, so soft, so...right.

I opened my eyes to find him gazing into my soul once more.

“A7ibich Haya...I do”

I felt light-headed as he spoke. I felt like I was I was walking on nothing could bring me down.

Then I knew what was going to happen.
Then I knew that I had no power to stop it.
Then I knew I wanted it just as badly as he did.
Then I saw him looking it my lips.
Then I saw him leaning closer to me.
Then I felt his lips falling ever so softly on mine.
Then I felt that rush going through my body as I kissed him back.

The same rush that woke my conscience up.

I pulled my lips away from his and stood up so abruptly that I nearly fell back on him.

“M7ammad...magdar...i cant...i so sorry...bas wallah I cant...this is wrong...3abboud...magdar...m7ammad magdar wallah magdar im so sorry”

I rambled on through my tears and in less than a split second I was outside the room and running through the corridor as fast as I could.