Saturday, April 25

Contrasting Realities 23

ehda2 5a9 7ag Gutter Flower:
no, there was no fly on her face ;Pp


It wasn’t fair.

I never saw it coming.

I was caught off-guard.

It was unexpected and unannounced.

And uncalled for, for that matter.

In less than a split second, and in one swift move, M7ammad’s hand slid behind my neck and he closed the distance between his face and mine, not giving me a chance to react.

His lips locked with mine. It didn’t start off gently like I always presumed kisses would. He was practically devouring my lips. Like he’d been hungry for them. Like he’d been waiting for them for a long time. Like he’d been holding back for too long, and is now, finally free.

I didn’t know how to react. I didn’t know when to react. I was, yet again, frozen.

And though I never kissed him back, I never pushed him away either. I just closed my eyes and felt every senseation coming to my brain from my lips.

It started off powerful and intense, to the point where he was actually pushing my face closer to his with his hand from behind my neck. He bit on my lips and sucked on them, but never once dared tried parting my mouth or using his tongue.

Eventually though, it got softer and more passionate; less lusty perhaps. He kiss became softer and softer, and I felt the pressure of his lips on mine becoming lighter and lighter till I could only feel them on my lower lips. Then I felt the smoothest tug on my lower lips, and then…

And then they were gone.

I couldn’t open my eyes instantly. It took me a while to react. Even though I could no longer feel his lips on mine, I felt his heavy breath on them.

His face was obviously still close to mine.

And they did nothing but accentuate all the sensations that were still being transmitted from my lips. I consciously knew that his lips were no longer in contact with mine, but somehow, it didn’t sink in. I could feel electricity zooming through my body, entering every cell in it as it traveled, as if to make an announcement to each and every one of them about what had happened.

Haya Al-Flani has been kissed.

Her first kiss.

In the middle of a department store.

Not by 3bdallah, as she’d always imagined.

By someone whom she doesn’t even like.

Or does she?

How long did it last? Seconds? Minutes? Hours?

I wouldn’t have been surprised if they’d told me days. But I had lost complete track of time. And space. And….person?

Infact, I only realized that I’m losing my balance when I felt M7ammad’s hand behind my neck grip me tighter and his other one support my arm.

I finally opened my eyes.

The first thing I noticed was the red lipstick all over his lips…all over his mouth…all over his chin. Looking up I saw the dazed expression on his face, like someone just told him he was flying to the moon tomorrow. I could even see something more there. Shock? Disbelief? Guilt? Pleasure?

Then it clicked.

It was guilty pleasure.

Then I looked up. And our eyes locked.

Neither of us spoke. Neither of us could utter a word.

But somehow our eyes did all the speaking.

Looking into his deep blues now, I don’t know how I missed what I was seeing now before. I suddenly saw all the yearning, all the longing, all the holding back, all the regret, all the fake attitude, all the jealousy, all the anger, all the guilt, all the sorrow, all the lust, all the waiting, all the hoping, all the dreaming…

All the things he’d been keeping inside him for so long.

As I read it now, I realized it had always been there, but I never saw it. It was like I suddenly learnt the language of the words spoken by his eyes that I couldn’t decipher before.

It all made sense to me now.

I knew my eyes were speaking back to him, but I didn’t know the stories they were telling. And even though I had no control over what was being said, I could feel my soul pouring out.

I felt my eyes swell up and I felt the tears form inside them. The more I read into his eyes, the more I felt that my soul was being ripped apart. I didn’t know why, but I just felt worse and worse.

With my eyes still locked with his, tears started falling from them.

“Haya…” I could barely hear his voice. It was filled with so many chocking emotions.

He started reaching for my face “Haya I’m sorry…I don’t -”

The moment his fingers touched my face was the moment that it all sank in. I couldn’t stand there anymore. My emotions were taking over me. I was breaking down.

I just ran out of the store.

Monday, April 13

Contrasting Realities 22

There’s just something about London that always gets to me. I’ve traveled to places around every nook and corner, but I never managed to find anywhere as peaceful as I do here. Its always been the city closest to my heart.

And London in winter was a completely different story.

We were happily walking down the streets, enjoying the fair weather and the scenery while making random conversation. Any awkwardness that happened earlier seemed to have disappeared into thin air, just like the smoke coming out of our mouths when we spoke.

Everything was so serene. I loved it.

That was the point when the rain decided to fall. Had I been alone, I would’ve continued my walk even more excited than I was before, feeling the raindrops wash all my troubles away. But knowing how Layla hates the rain and watching her step into the nearest shop when it started falling, I decided to follow her.

We ended up in Debenhams.

“Lets just look around hnee till the rain calms down shwaya. Its pouring out there”

Walking up the escalator, I remembered how my mom loves the fish & chips they made here, and how she only ate it in this restaurant. I decided to give her a ring.

“Hayoooya galby shlonich mamaty? Walaht 3laich 7beebty wallah elbait ma yeswa bdoonich! Mamaty meta tredeen Hayoo wallah I miss you!”

I laughed out loud. Very hard.

“Yuma ba3ad galby shway shway 3ly 5al astaw3eb shga3d tgoleen”

“HAW! Hayoo agoolich welaht 3laich tgoleenly shway shway!”

“Wallah I miss you more 7beebty. Wallah weddy tkoneen weyay al7en. A9lan tadreen ana wain al7en?”


“Eb Debenhams…tabeen fish & chips?”

“Ba3ad galby entay wallah…7addy meshtahya…yeebeely weyach 3ayal bs la ygoloon 3annich maynoona on the plane”

“Afaaa! Ygoloon maynoona bs lazem ayeeblch! Entaw shlonkom? Wainkom ma tes2loon 3anny chenna kintaw na6reen elfacha menny!”

“La wallah yuma obooch kil youm ydeg 3laich bs madree el56oo6 shfeeha mo rathy yashbk…7ata kil ma ydezlch message ma tro7…kaa ga3ed yamy yaby y7acheech e5thay”

My dad confirmed to me what my mom had said. I wondered what was wrong with my phone; the network was normal, I could call people but apparently no one could call me. I assumed that my parents had gotten something wrong with the code or what not. After all, I guess technology can be a bit challenging for people their age.

I was standing in the makeup section when I saw Layla and M7ammad coming towards me.

“Shfeech Hayoo?”

“Laa mako shay. I just talked to my parents fa I kinda miss them”

“You’ll be back before you know it 7beebty, fa enjoy the time you’re here while you still can”

“Inshallah…bs they keep saying my phone is going crazy mo ga3d yashbk”

“Ee I remember youm I arrived I called you oo madree shfee chan adeg 3la 7ammoud oo – AAAAAHHHHH DIORRRRRRR!!”

She was now screaming and her eyes were ogling something behind me. I looked behind me to find that we were at the Dior makeup section.

“El7amdella welshekr…” I said as I rolled my eyes.

“Laaa laaa Hayoona you don’t understand! I’ve been looking for my red shade everywhere in Kuwait oo killa out of stock! Apparently red is in nowadays oo kilman ga3d ya5tha!! Its not fair its always been my color mn before hal habba”

“Ee wallah…entay mashallah 3laich I’ve never seen anyone yloog 3aleh red lipstick nafsich…mo nafs hathela elclowns eli nshofhom chenna a7ad punched their lips…it actually looks GOOD on you with your pearly whites”

She tried some on and looked in the mirror at M7ammad who was lurking around us, obviously bored with the conversation.

“Shrayak eb hal loun 7amood?” Layla showed him her freshly colored red lips and trying to make him feel less out of place.

“Its nice I guess”

“Hayoo try it!”

“Waiii Layla shkether 3endy makeup!”

“You wear makeup aslan?”

“Not much…bs I have a thing for buying it and not using it hehe”

He smiled.

“Zain yala try it, show us!”

I did as I was told.

Another jaw drop. This time from Layla. I couldn’t see M7ammad’s reaction from where I was standing through the mirror though.

“3ajeeb Hayooo! Lazem ta5theena!”

I was pouting infront of the mirror and contemplating the thought of buying it when Layla’s phone rang. She excused herself.

“You should get it”, he whispered in my ear as the sudden appearance of his reflection in the mirror startled me. He was gazing at my lips.

“You think?” I said, contemplating the thought while still pouting infront of the mirror.

“And wear it that is. You have beautiful lips. You should consider highlighting them more often”

I remembered how 3abboud nearly begged me once not to wear red lipstick again. He said it made my lips look edible. When he couldn’t convince me to do that, he made me promise not to ever wear it while driving, for fear of depriving people of their sanity on the road.

Looking at M7ammad eyes as they were completely mesmerized with my lips, I decided to tease him a bit.

“Sh8a9dk ya3ny? I can only look pretty with makeup?” I spoke to him through the mirror, without turning to face him.

“Huh? Laa shda3wa ana ma gelt chithee!”

“Tawwk tgool lipstick makes me look pretty”

“I said it highlights your lips”

“Ba3ad? Ya3ny even with makeup they’re not highlighted ebroo7hom ya3ny?!”

“Haya you have gorgeous lips mama! Ana ga3d agoolich you highlight them 3shan ybaynoon zyada cuz they make your face look beautiful”

“Ya3ny you mean without my polished lips my face looks ugly?” I gave him a puppy face.

“Walaaaaaaain!! Ana ma gelt chithee!”

“3ayal shgelt?!” I said, turning around to face him, realizing that our faces were only centimeters apart.

He had this look in his eyes. This look I’ve only seen before in movies. This look I’ve never seen before with my own eyes, in the real world. He was staring at me so intently and so expressionlessly that I was caught in the middle of his gaze, finding myself locked, even lost, in his blue eyes. For the first time, I noticed every little detail in the vast sea of blue infront of me. There were the thin turquoise stripes that stretched throughout the span of his eyes. There were the navy blue dots spread around randomly, looking like little emeralds sparkling at the bottom of the ocean. There were other lines and marks that were scattered around seemingly meaninglessly, but the purpose they served was only to the eye of the beholder…literally.

Then came the pitch black darkness in the center of his eyes. The window to his soul. The pitch black darkness into which I stared and was completely lost in. Completely absorbed in. Completely mesmerized by.

Wrapped into my own indulgence, I never got the chance to tell him that Dior lipsticks smudge.

Sunday, April 5

Contrasting Realities 21

I know I promised you guys a post full of action bs wallah I have two exams in less than a week that I didnt study for, fa I really couldnt write more. Bs I did post a short (hopefully not too crappy) post for you till I come back cz I promised I'll post one this week.

So sam7oony if it isnt as good as you'd like it to be...wallah am so sorry =(
wish me luck - I REALLY need it!

ps: action coming up next post I promise! =D


We left the restaurant and walked towards the tube station. On our way, we passed by the shop displaying the purple dress from before. M7ammad suddenly grabbed Layla’s hand and pulled her into the shop.

“Besmellah! 7amood shfeek?!”

“Ta3aly bas ta3alay entay!” he said still dragging her into the shop without an explanation.

He went to the dress and held it out infront of her.

“7ag Noufa?”

He ignored her question.


“Eyanen! Mn 9ijik?”

“Haya mo m9adgatny” he said, pointing to me.

I blushed.

“I didn’t say ena mo 7elo shda3wa”

“Mo rathya ta5tha”

“Kint ba5tha bas-“

“Lebsee. Show her.”

“Wallah 3ajebny shda3wa?!”

“Then laish ma tabeen talbeseena?!”

Layla looked at us with questioning eyes. She was obviously confused.

“What’s going on?”

“Ma taby ta5tha”

“Mo maby bs ena ma 9ar 3arafty”

She looked at me and then back at M7ammad.

“Tra it seems like a nice dress. Chenny ana ba5tha 7aggy”

M7ammad frowned but didn’t speak.

A few moments of silence passed as Layla admired the dress before she spoke again.

“Haya may5alef tjarbeena for me?”

I gave her a very hostile look. I understood that she didn’t witness what happened the last time I tried it on, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t try it herself.

So here I was, standing in the middle of the shop with both Layla and M7ammad asking me to wear the dress.

Even though it seemed harmless, I knew better.

That didn’t mean I could say no, though.

“Erm…sure why not?”

She wrapped her hand around my arm and hugged me tightly as I walked towards the fitting room.

“Thanks Hayooyty” she said as she gave me a big kiss on my cheek.

Before she pulled away, she whispered in my ears.

“I’m so sorry I’m not wearing the right underwear for this at all bs weddy ashoofa”


Once more, I put on the dress and walked out of the fitting room, this time without the heels. When I stepped out, I could see that Layla and M7ammad were having a serious conversation about something, but awkward silence fell upon them the moment I entered.

Layla turned around from M7ammad to face me. When she did, I could tell she was impressed. She admired me for quite some time before she spoke.

“Its beautiful Hayooya”

“3yoonich elbeautiful galby”

There was silence for a few moments as she stared at me. Then she looked over at M7ammad, who had been silent this whole time.

His expression wasn’t any different from the first time he saw the dress. His bulging eyes, his sweating face, his inability to breathe…

Only this time, it was combined with a dropped jaw.

“Wala shrayek M7ammad?”

No response.

“M7ammad eldress 3ajeeb mo?”

No response.

She walked over to him and put her hand on his shoulder as he sat. I could swear I saw her pinching him just a little.

“Haa? Shino?” he looked around him in bewilderment, his eyes suddenly leaving me. Then, he looked up at Layla.

“Eldress…ga3da agool 7ag Hayooya ena 3ajeeb, mo?”

“5o ana laish yaybech hnee in the first place if it wasn’t?!”

“La y6oofich Hayooya…9ij you look amazing”

“Fineeeeee!! I’ll take it!”

M7ammad’s face lit up as he got up from his seat.


“Say it in a more girly way, why don’t you?” Layla teased him.

He blushed.

“Yala 3ad Lilly its amazing you gotta admit”

“3laich bl3afya galby”

As I was taking the dress off, I noticed a small tear on its side near the belt. I spoke to the saleswoman in the changing room about it, which made a few phone calls to other branches, and told me that a new one will be available tomorrow for me to pick up. After explaining what happened to M7ammad and Layla, we walked out of the store and continued our shopping spree.

It was only the afternoon, and the day had become as awkward as I would imagine it can ever become.

I missed 3abboud tremendously, but taken out those feelings out on M7ammad.

And Layla witnessed it.

M7ammad played footsie with me, and not only did I not feel guilty about it, but I actually enjoyed it.

And Layla witnessed it.

M7ammad trying to ever-so-innocently feed my even though there was someone else on that table whom he is actually closer to that he could’ve started with (or stopped at for that matter).

And Layla witnessed it.

M7ammad’s lack of breathing and dropped jaw as I tried on the infamous (and now I’m thinking God-forsaken) purple dress.

And Layla witnessed it.

Its official. Things can’t become more awkward than this.

And it was only when I came to this realization that I could actually feel myself loosening up, because it was only then that I concluded that no matter what happens, today cannot get any worse. That’s when I decided to relax and enjoy whatever’s left of this very strange day.

Looking back, I don’t understand how it slipped my mind that the world goes by another law.

Murphy’s Law.

'Things can always get worse'