Sunday, March 28

Contrasting Realities 32

It was a while before I heard his voice in the corridor looking for me. By that time, I was already halfway down the stairs, since I didnt have it in me to wait for the elevator. I took the stairs two steps at a time, being very careful not to trip. When I got to the bottom of the stairs, I ran through the lobby, knowing very well I attracted lots of attention behind me.

Until I stepped out of the hotel.

Into the pouring rain.

Yet again, with nowhere to go.

I reckoned it was about 7pm now, but I had no phone, no watch, no wallet and no destination. And no intention of finding one either. So I just turned to my left and started walking. Not strike that, it was more like a jog. And from there on, I just kept walking, waiting for the streets to take me somewhere...anywhere.

I wish I could say I was thinking about this and that, or analyzing this and that, or feeling guilty over this and that..

but I wasnt...

I was just blank...completely blank.

No feelings, no emotions, no thoughts....


It was still early January, and the city was dressed in all sorts of lights from Christmas. I walked in the rain admiring their beauty, all the while amazed by how a bunch of lightbulbs could make me smile.

I wasnt sure if I was walking very slowly, or if the slow motion was all in my head, but eventually, I found myself at an intersection, and through the pouring rain I saw Hyde park across the street. Perfect, I thought to myself. It couldnt have come at a better timing. Deep down, though, I was pretty sure my subconscious dragged me here, if that was at all possible.

I crossed the very slippery streets, nearly losing my balance a few times, and ended up at the gate. Then I walked in, and made my way to my favorite place in the world: the lake.

As I passed that infamous tree struck by lightning, I muttered a silent prayer thanking God there was none today. I was glad to find that all the benches were empty, and I quickly skipped to my favorite bench next to the cafe, only to realize how stupid that was when I got there. After all, what was I expecting, that someone will beat me to it?

It was my first time in Hyde Park at night. I've been warned numerous times about how scary the place gets at night, and how its very easy to get mugged there. None of that mattered though. It was raining. It was quiet. It was peaceful.

I could hear nothing save for the sound of the rain falling on the grass and water. I could see nothing save for the rain falling on the grass and water.

It was perfect.

I took in all its serenity and tranquility, and with every breath I took I felt my heart rate slow down and I felt myself regaining composure. Slowly, the numbness started subsiding, and feelings slowly came back. I could now feel the rain trickling down my forehead from my soaked hair, and I could hear it playing melodies as it hit the lake in small and big droplets, quickly and slowly, forcefully and softly. Some falling straight from the heavens, and some off the dancing trees hanging above it. Some falling from the heavens, to the trees, to my hair, then trailing down my body and clothes, onto the floor and into the lake.

I closed my eyes and felt the connection between my body, and the lake, and the rain, and the trees, and the sky. Suddenly, a strange sense of peace dawned upon me, like nothing in the world could hurt me.

And even though I expected it to disappear as soon as I heard his voice, it didnt.


Even though I didnt hear his footsteps, he didnt startled me. I didnt cry. I didnt collapse. I didnt break down. I didnt even flinch. Or turn around for that matter.


There was a moment of silence. I could tell he was confused, thinking of what to say.

“Shga3tsawen?” He was standing still.

“Ga3da...” I spoke, once again without turning around.

“Eb hal mu6ar?” He spoke and this time, his voice grew closer as he walked towards me.


“Mo bardana?” He was now by the bench.

“La2” I spoke as I looked out into the darkness of the lake.

He walked over and kneeled infront of me, holding my hand. He was looking into my eyes, but I was still looking ahead. I could see his baby blues lighting up the place from the corner of my eyes, but I refused to face him.

“Haya...” He brought his hand to my face, turning it towards him, “are you okay?”

He was wearing the same clothes he was earlier. He obviously left in a rush since he wasnt even wearing a jacket. His hands were trembling on my face and as he gripped my hand. His eyes were filled with emotions, so many conflicting emotions that I couldnt even comprehend, but I'm pretty sure concern made the vast majority of them. The rain was flowing down his face so vigorously, but he wasnt even blinking as it hit his face. He was just staring at me.

It was now my turn to reach for his face. I placed my palm on his face, and traced his features with my fingertips. I felt his soaked hairline, his tense temples, his dripping eyebrows, the soft corners of his eyes, his strong cheekbones, and when they got to the corner of his lips, I looked up into his eyes once again. He was looking at me with a dazed expression on his face. I could tell he was confused, and unsure of how he should react. I felt his lips tremble underneath my fingers, as he opened his mouth, but sealed it shut again, changing his mind about whatever it is that he was going to say.

I smiled.

He placed his hand on top of mine as I gently stroked his face. Then, he moved it towards his mouth and kissed the inside of my palm with his eyes closed. Even through the rain, I still felt his soft lips gently caressing my palm.

He then opened his eyes and looked up at me with his big blue eyes.

“A7ibich Haya”

I looked down again, feeling the guilt coming over.

“Haya please 6al3eny”

I didnt. So, he turned my face towards him.

“A7ibich Haya...w8asaman billah I do...wghalatich 3indy I do...oo if you give me a chance, just once chance, I promise you wont regret it. I'll treat you like a princess. No, I'll treat you like a goddess. Like the goddness that you are. I promise I'll make you the happiest girl in the world,” he spoke very quickly, like this was his last chance and he was desperately trying to squeeze in as much as he can in so little time, “oo I promise those tears you cried would be the last tears you ever cry as long as I'm with you. I promise eni a3awthech 3an all these tears. I promise I'll never make you cry. I swear Haya, just give me a chance and you'll be the happiest-” he rambled on.

Realizing he was out of breath, I placed my fingers over his lips “Shhhh...”

“Laa Haya mo shhh...I've been quiet for long enough and look where it's got me. Bas enough I cant keep it in anymore. I cant pretend watching you with someone else is okay anymore. I cant pretend watching you slipping through my fingers is okay anymore. Bas khalas Haya mani gader. I cant pretend-”

I leaned over and placed my lips on top of his, and kissed them softly. I felt him stiffen up for a few seconds, and I could feel his hesitancy. I kept my lips plastered on his until I felt him loosen up. Then, I felt his wet lips kissing me back as he cupped my face in his palms.

Feelings could not be described.

Neither could the intoxicating combination of sweat, rain and M7.

Love was in the air...or rather rain...


Anony said...

haya @@

doona said...

shfeha? ;P

M said...

ma a9adeg :|

Anony said...

mara7 etmot?

laish lil7eenha 3aysha :@

the rain, running, hyde park :@ all good opportunities for her to DIE !!!

mo ga3da ashof ay tafa3ol men qebalech :@

doona said...

yeah me neither ;p
its been a while, hasnt it? ;P



7araaam...mskeena....we would have no story and whiny little girls had it not been for her ;P


Anony said...

mabe asame7haa

she should die !! write another story without DE3LA HAYAA!!

DANA! you are forcing me to take an action


doona said...

will it involve physical pain to me?

*covers her tummy 3shan anony ma etdoos eb ba6nha*

Anonymous said...

its been too longg dooonna
i almost forgot the story
*na'3zaaa u should post more often;p*
...........i have mixed feelings sa3at afker okk haya jst dump 3bdullah and go to m7md..but that is not easy oo kilish mo 3adla but at the same time the heart wants what the heart wants:P!
im jst too confuseed im glad im not in haya's shoes right now:P
i wouldnt have survived this whole fiasco;p

doona said...

its been too long indeed :)
wayed 6awalt 3laikom this time, i know :(

and yeah! you're right! :)
bas then again, would you have two people fighting over you or none at all? hahahaha! drama drama drama! ;)

Charmbracelet said...

Amazing !
I loved the way u described the vivid ! I felt it..I love rain !=)

Anonymous said...

Oh how i missed this !
lovely post, love the drama
hope u can post more often though ;p

take cares

zuz said...

7athy 6a3 shegoolahaaaaa! That's so not fair :o!

Standy said...

not sure how to respond to this post..

Madliar said...

finallyy :D :D im so waiting for a post from any blog ! but from urs i never expected a post !!

thkuu thkuu u made my day now i can StUdY ! :p


Nora said...

sweetie, i love your story and ive always loved your writing whether its here on in Spill.
I have to ask for something.
You write like one post a month, and its fine, bas we, or I, personally, forget. At some posts (yes im being dramatic) i dont fully understand whats going on till the middle and then i have to go back up and restart.
Fa please, if its not too much trouble, it would help me out so much if you could just put a short recap at the top with what happened last time..

Shushu said...

I Want my own M7ammad..
I love hiiiiiiiiiiiim!

w la t6awleen please ;p
post asap!!

doona said...

so do i <3!
if only we'd get a bit mroe here...maybe we'd get our fairytales ;P


i've missed my lovely readers ;*
and i wish i can too...

allah kareem :)


adry ;P life's not fair ;P
bas shinsawy :(


mwaaaaaaaaah ;**
for the speechless ;)


study, eh? can i loool ;)
as i always say, el inspiration ma eyee ghair 7azzat lemte7anat ;P


7yaty entay ;*
from my @@
mn 3yoony 7beeby ;*
inshallah, if i dont post more frequently, i'll put a little recap before the post :)


dont we all want our m7ammads? :)
wish me luck (and time)

allah kareem :)

Anonymous said...

Where are you? :(

Madliar said...

looool exactlyy!! xD lool 5ala9t klshy now im on vacation (: ams we9alt my destination ;D hhaha
yallah post !! :(

Memefull said...

Hey D,
I've been reading the story for a week now <3
and going back and forth on the words the scenes the action <3
I absolutely love it..
o walla we appreciate that you're putting ALOT of work into this!! it really shows!!
so, umm, just asking..
how long b3ad will it take? I'm dying to read the finale *______*
good luck with everything girl!
thank you for this!! you're AMAZING! :D
Regards from do7a,

doona said...

doona getting raped by finals :|)
ed3eely :)


ee nas w9alat their destinations oo nas ga3da takil tibn bl finals lol ;p


7yaty ;*

im really glad you're enjoying this ;* 3asa doum inshallah :)

allah ysalmch if youre asking meta i pst...then its gonnna be a bit more :( i have finals for another week...then i kinda need to rest and find some inspiration for a bit before i write the next part hehe

ama etha ga3ts2leen 3al finale, then its gonna be a loooooong 9ar shay lail7en ;p all the drama is coming up ;p