Friday, March 20

Contrasting Realities 19


thanks for all your comments. Your support meant so much to me wallah =)

I'm not really back yet but I woke up feeling a little better today, so I figured I should share my good mood with you!

Hope you enjoy it! =)

ps: again, MISS YOU WAYED ;**


I woke up the next day at 7am, an hour before my alarm went off. The sky was still dark outside; sunrise wasn’t until 7.30am. I turned to my side to find Layla sleeping peacefully with her phone next to her.

I haven’t heard from him in 4 days.

I missed 3abboud.


I got out of bed very quietly, making sure I didn’t wake her up. Finding my bag on the floor, I reached for my phone.


I missed 3abboud.


I stepped into the bathroom and looked at my face. My makeup was smudged below my eyes, making me look like someone who just got out of a fistfight. Even though I knew it was only because I had forgotten to clean it off before I went to bed yesterday, I realized that it did reflect the way I felt today.

I missed 3abboud.


I grabbed a change of clothes and hopped into the shower. Nothing could soothe me more than a hot shower. I let the heat liquefy all my problems. I let the force of its droplets untangle the knots in my back. I let the water wash all my troubles away.

Ten minutes later, I stepped out of the shower and rushed to my phone.


Tears made their way to my eyes, but I held them back as I put on my clothes. I decide to apply my makeup outside so I don’t turn on the lights that might wake Layla up. I grabbed my phone in my hand on my way out, contemplating on whether I should swallow my pride and let him know how much I needed him.

On how much I missed his good morning messages.

On how much I missed the sound of his voice.

On how much I missed feeling his lips on my forehead.

On how much I missed…him.

I stepped out of the room and closed the door behind me very, very slowly.

“9ba7 el5air” came a whisper, with a hint of laughter in it. It made me jump.

M7ammad was sunk in the sofa, wearing brown trousers and a beige shirt. His top three buttons were undone.

“9ba7 elnoor”

“Layla nayma?”


“Oo entay shmga3dch hal7azza?”

“Madree…elso2al ohwa ent shmga3dk?”

He took a deep breath and gave me a weak smile.

“I couldn’t sleep a9lan”

“Mn 9ijik?”

“Yup. Not at all. Stayed up all night.”

I sat on the sofa next to him. ”Oh, dude that sucks”

“Tell me about it. Wanna watch some TV?”

“Why not?”

We chatted a little and switched on the TV.

“No breakfast elyom?”

“I figured since Lilly hnee, we could go somewhere instead of eating in”

I pulled my mirror out and started applying my eyeliner. M7ammad grabbed his tie from the table infront of us and tried to put it on, struggling with his bandaged wrist in the process.

“Need help?”

“Maby a2atheech” he said shyly.

“Shda3wa? I’m the cause of the wrist damage anyway” I smiled gratefully, “bs goum I can’t tie it oo ent ga3ed”

He stood up and I stood infront of him. Somehow, it felt less awkward than yesterday. Nonetheless, his beating heart against my palm was still driving me crazy.

“Yala put this underneath here-“

“I’m a fast learner” I interrupted as I winked at him. I then proceeded to tie it in silence. Silence that didn’t include his throbbing heart.

I pulled his tie halfway up to his neck, then gently closed his undone buttons, noticing that my fingertips lingered a bit more on his bare skin that they probably should have. I then pulled his tie up to his neck, and left my palms against his chest. I didn’t move.

I felt his heart push the most sensitive part of my palm outwards.

His heartbeat.

Lub. Dub. Lub. Dub. Lub. Dub. Lub. Dub.

There was something so soothing about it. It somehow transformed me to a state of utter peace.

Lub. Dub. Lub. Dub. Lub. Dub. Lub. Dub.

I felt my muscles relaxing. I felt my worries disappearing. I felt my heart slowing down.

Lub. Dub. Lub. Dub. Lub. Dub. Lub. Dub.

Serenity. Tranquility.

Lub. Dub. Lub. Dub. Lub. Dub. Lub. Dub.

A few minutes passed by. I don’t know how much, but I could feel that minutes followed minutes as I stood there, indulged in his heartbeats.

“9ba7 el5air” echoed Layla’s voice.

M7ammad’s head turned and I saw lines forming against the muscles of his neck as I stared at it. I didn’t move. I couldn’t move. I was plastered in this position. I was a wax figure.

This would be a good time to acknowledge her existence, said the little voice in my head.


I felt his heartbeat becoming faster and more forceful. I wouldn’t have been surprised if it ripped his chest apart and landed into my hand at that very moment.

“El7amdellah…entay shlonich Lilly?”

When he spoke, the sound of his voice came from his entire chest. Every word and every letter and every syllable was felt through my palm before it was heard by my ears. The vibrations, though, finally managed to shoot me back to reality.

My brain had to remind me of the way things were looking infornt of Layla right now. Me and M7ammad, standing only inches apart. My hands on his chest. His head tilted so he can look at her and speak to her. I, on the other hand, am standing there in complete silence, simply staring at his him.

The realization of it all made me pull my hands suddenly and step away from M7ammad. I looked at Layla, but the disheveled look she gave me made me stare at the ground in shame.

“Shlonich Hayooya?” Her tone of voice was friendly, and so was the question. But there was something strange about it.

Curiosity maybe? Sympathy?

I couldn’t quite place my hands on it.

“El7amdella all good” I glanced at her quickly, and realized that her usual friendly expression was there. There was something else there too, but this time, I couldn’t tell what it was.

“Ay sa3a lazem namshy?”

“We have to be there by 9”

“Oh, 3ayal yala yamdeeny albes”

“Ee yala ba3ad 3shan yamdeena we grab some food before we go”

“Killa hamk 3la ba6nk ent?!”

He laughed whole-heartedly.

“What’s new?”

She went back to change and get ready, while M7ammad and I sat in silence infront of the TV. I don’t know about him, but I know I was staring at it absent-mindedly, seeing absolutely nothing of what the images infront of me portrayed.

Until I felt his cold fingertips on my cheek.


Anonymous said...

aww u just put a smile on my face i didnt read it yet but im happy thank you xxx


Omg I almost died when I saw you posted! well not really, but yeah! loved it! Glad you're feeling better hun ;*

Pearla said...

omg yay,, seriously awl ma shift ur post i had this huge smile ino yaay :D :D .. glad ur feelin all better sweetie ;*
and the post is amazing, and again ur killing me lol u stop at when he touches her cheek ino come onnnn !!! LOL ..
amazing ;*
mwaaauh ,, y3ne plz if u can la e6wleen ktheer 3lena .. hhehe

Gutter Flower said...

ur back! okay not really back.. but still! 3al aqal fi shay minich! 7ADI mistansa! *jumps up and down in excitement* .. *now does her stupid happy dance* hahahahaa DANDOOOON!! 7abeeeeeeeeeebi intaa! 1st.. ur post just made my day.. seriously.. awal shay when she was saying how much she missed 3abood i was like.. la plz m7amad m7amad.. but then.. it was a full m7amad dosage ili i can literally fly mn il wanasa.. no3 ili butterflies r forming in my tummy and all that.. im glad ur feeling better today luv.. and i hope u continue feeling better everyday lai ma all ut troubles melt like lemon drops ;).. *singing somewhere over the rainbow in the highest pitched voice ull ever hear- oh and dedicates it to u*.. hahaha i loooove u babyy.. beautifully written darling.. yalla farfeshay 3ashan we go bk to fighting over m7amad! ;*****

Gutter Flower said...

uhwa a7een he's mine since uve been away and all.. bs its no fun chethi.. abi competition.. ;p

Exquisite:* said...

I was happy when i saw you posted! i love your story a lot its amazing!
loved the post its breath taking wow m7amad!
cant wait for mre keep it up;**

In My Closet said...

We missed u wayed wayed...;***

oo they r cute bs 7aram 3abood walla kassir 5a6ri....

thnx ;)))

Anonymous said...

You made my day when i show that you posted i screamed :)

I got a trashing from my sisters because of you so please post another one soon ;)

welcome back

love you

Anonymous said...

this is for you dana
"Nobody trips over mountains. It's the small pebbles that cause you to stumble. Pass all the pebbles in your path and you'll find you have crossed the mountain."
all the best ;)

libero anima said...

we missed you maaaaaaan !!

i was soooooo excited when i saw ur post !! =D

and about ur post ..
a7es there is something very very veeeeeeEEERRY weird going on between layla and m7ammad ..

Jacqui said...

Again with Sexy M7ammad.. ya3ne mo kafy she tied his tie last time now again :/ La o his heart is so seductive! Akhaaaaaaih

Can I have him?

Oh and this part is really really short!!!

Anonymous said...

i could've been first but my stupid mobile :@


Anonymous said...

i could've been first but my stupid mobile :@


Starlight<3 said...

I love how you always end with a line that makes me dying for more,

for some reason the last line reminded me so much of twilight.

This guy is a reincarnation of Edward Cullen, except he's arab which might just make him hotter if that was possible ;p

anyways, I loved this post I'm so glad you continued it, and I hope you'll be posting more often.


Anonymous said...

WELCOME BACK!! u have absolutely no idea how much we missed u!!

Finicky:* said...

Welcome baaaack;*
we missed you, please la trideen itghi6een we love your story and we love you 7aram 3alaich:(
puppy eyes?
pretty please?
haha we missed you babe and glad to have you back whenever you come back;*

love ;** said...

I know your not back back..BUT YOUR friend told me you posted, and I literally jumped out of bed.

Haya 3wart galby, M7mad needs to acknowledge her, bs 7asa fee shay going on with Laila.

you truly were missed, such an AMAZING post ;**

zuz said...

awww a7ibhom;*;p!!ur discription 7dda medicine student's;p!! miss u and ya36ech el 3afia;**

Charmbracelet said...

Yaaaaayyyyyy !!!! Yaaayyyy!! Missed u tons!!! I was so freakin happy when u posted!!! <3!!!

Dee said...

dandoon meta enshallah bn3arf shsalfettaa?? ;p
mashallah aamzingly written as alwayyys!;***

Stand-Alone~ said...

OMG YOU POSTED!! i thought my blog was playing tricks on me!! OMG OMG


Thank you thank you thank you so much.. you totally brightned my day!

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

Umbaay:| jaad jaad ;p
Can't wait for the next post, I love youu! ;*
-Queen D

Anonymous said...

no! i cant believe you posted!! walla at first i was like no no, she didnt post.. bas when u actually did, u cant imagine the smile illy shaga wayhee!!

thank you so much for posting.. i hope youd post more often now..


Aurous said...

I'm so happy... I'm going to cry!!!

welcome back (kinda ;p)

I'm going to read now :D

Aurous said...

waiting for the next part ;p
shasawy?!! adry 6ama3a? ;p

Ghareeb said...

Holy moly Makarony
UR Back actually i had to go and wash my face to make sure i am awake
Walla zaman
7amdlilla ur ok and back
Missed ya wayed wayed

Yousef said...

YaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaY!! 7adi estanst y3ni when I saw your post wallah I missed you so bad shno hatha you've been away for toooooo long :( bs yallah let me enjoy this moment =D

Wallah 7ram Haya she's missing 3bod so bad y3ni, wo hal Mohammed madri y3ni rude wla weird wla yestahbl wla shno bl'9ab6!! ana madri lol, ydesh el8alb etha 9ar 5osh 2admi or I hate him mn 8alb etha 9ar rude wo nafseya 8e6e3a ma ynbl3 :P

Bs enma the sound of his heartbeats to7faaaaa looool base ;Pp!!

Wo pleaaaaaaasssssseeeeeeeee don't go away for tooo long again plz DanDooon =(

On-The-Rocks said...

wb, im currently not reading nor posting anything in blog bas as soon as i noticed this post, i couldn't help but read it and comment on it.

this is the best bed time story i've read!!! im hitting the sack now since i always feel tired after the operation, bas tara i am waiting for the next post as soon as possible.

Gutter Flower said...

dandooon =( come back la =( i miss uuuu =(

A Journal Entry said...

unlike some other stories, ur story never lost it's touch, mashallah.. keep up the good work ;)

Hessa said...

Yaaaaaaayy! we missed you alot btw :p

Yawarakai said...

first of all i'd just like to tell u how happy i am u posted!!! i dont comment here too often but i'm always checking for updates..

secondly, i loved this post.. it starts off kind of gloomy and gives u a happy feeling at the end..

the thing is, the ending.... u CANNOT disappear at this point or i will pull my hair!! plz come back soon :)

Anonymous said...

Wheen you postingg agaiiin??
I can't wait any longer lool!!

see you and postt SOON please .. get well soon and lat6awleeen pleaseee!!

Lovveeedd ittt ;)

ĐǻñĎõøðñ said...

your comment drew a smile across my face =D
wallah i didnt think anyone was reading this anymore ;**
ba3ad galby wallah THANK YOU! =D


(ee im calling you heart cz i dont know where to find the symbol lol)
dont die! 3afya ;)
lol! im glad youre glad i think! ;)


ba3ad galby wallah ;**
im glad you enjoyed ;)
oo sorry for the cliff hanger...i tend to do that lol ;)
ill try to be back soon inshallah ;)


gutter flower,


ovvvveeeeerrrrr theeeeee rainbowwwwwwwww


sooooo highhhhhhhh!


la2! la2 gutter flower reddy 3ly!
you cant die on me now!

not before i tell you that m7ammad has always been mine ;Pp


ba3ad galby wallah ;**
im glad i made someone happy =D
im glad you likey =)


in my closet,
wallah i missed you too ;**
who cares abt stoopid 3abboud eli ma ydeg! ;Pp


tra mawwateeny the7k lol!
3ad was the trashing worth it? ;)
if i post another one, dont scream lol ;)


ba3ad galby wallah zonny ;**
you are too sweet =)

oo tra you still owe me some 'screw your examiner' techniques ;)


(ee 7abbait salfat LA hathee...has a cool feeling ;)
i missed you moooooooooooore!
i miss fa9latich wayeeeeeed wallah you have no idea! =D

oo i guess we'll se abt lilly oo m7ammad ;Pp


there is a looooooong waiting/fighting list over m7ammad ;)
hes on high demand ;)

on a brighter notion, only zawee wants 3abboud so he's more available ;Pp


ma 3laich mn elmobile...el first first blgalb ;**

oo hey! im a medical student after all marady my stupid geeky thinking even in a love story ;)


oh hotter is always possible ;)
i actually didnt like edward too my head 7amood is waaaaaay hotter ;)
i hope ill be posting more often too...i guess we'll see ;)


YOU have absolutely no idea how much ive missed you ;**
wallah i have the hugest smile on my face =D


how can i say no to these eyes? ;**
to that face? ;**

7ayaty wallah...ill try to come back as soon as possible...oo inshallah that would be before you know it ;)

ĐǻñĎõøðñ said...

ymkn ma t9adgeeny bs i missed you WAYED =D
mashallah 3laich you have such a positive aura around you! i love it ;**


i cant help it lol ;)
its been five years...its in my blood now lol ;)


wallah i was so freakin happy when i saw your comment!
ambaih 7addich cuta! ;**


he's a guy....we will never n3aref shino salfeta ;Pp
they are WEIRD...period! ;)


your blog does that too?
mine does it all the time! =D


oo b3dain, anything to brighten up standy's day is a pleasure! ;**

cham standy 3ndy a9lan! ;)


ba3ad galby wallah ;**
im glad i could aid in the craziness ;)
its always something id like to lend a hand it lol ;)


queen d,
hehe ;**
love you too bella ;**


3ad ill try to post more often if i can if itll keep that smile there ;)


there shall be no crying!
if you cry, i wont post anymore ;Pp
no crying, you hear? ;Pp


ur comment mawwatny the7k lol ;)
thanks dearie =)
even though im not technically back yet ;)


my most devoted reader ;)
wallah i missed you wayed wayed wayed!! =)
7ata i was wondering where you were lain i saw your comment ;)
its good to see youre still around lol ;)

oo aham shay the hearbeat bass LOOOOOOOOL!! ;)


7amdella 3la salamtk baba ;**
im really really glad you enjoyed it =)
tra your comment made me smile =)


gutter flower,
do i have to come back?
cant you come here? its much easier and less energy consuming for me ;Pp


a journal entry,
ba3ad glaby wallah ;**
youre too sweet! =)
thanks 7beeby!



wallah wallah i did! =)

you have no idea shkether im smiling while im typing this! =D


laaa laaa tekfain dont pull your hair! ;)
im so flattered wallah ena i have such devoted readers ;**
oo i hope im doing a good job for you guys =)


7beeby ;**
wallah ill try my best to post it might be a ridiculously short one..fa dont blame me 3ad ;)

Gray Goose. said...

I LOVE YOUR STORY!;o Post soon please;* We wanna know what happens next.;p

-Crystal Spankbomb.

ĐǻñĎõøðñ said...

gray goose,
very soon inshallah ya galby ;**
thanks for your sweet words ;**

Pearla said...

dandoooon 7bebaat albeee !! its been aweek .. yes i check ur blog everyday ..
;* miss uu

ĐǻñĎõøðñ said...

bacher inshallah i promise =)

kint bakteb elyom 3la asa i post once a week bs im dead exhausted walah =(

wallah your an amazing reader ;**

Ghareeb said...

Yala ana bistana ur post
Ente amazing writer.
u remind me of a psychiatrist hehehe he is my friend not my doc yet
2 docs i will never see inshaallah psyc and gynecologist

ĐǻñĎõøðñ said...

there goes a new post ;)

and btw, you might see those two ;)

one with your wife and the other because of her lol ;)

LABNA said...

yalahweteyyyyyyy jas khadha!