Contrasting Realities 19

MISS YOU WAYED ;**

thanks for all your comments. Your support meant so much to me wallah =)

I'm not really back yet but I woke up feeling a little better today, so I figured I should share my good mood with you!

Hope you enjoy it! =)

ps: again, MISS YOU WAYED ;**

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I woke up the next day at 7am, an hour before my alarm went off. The sky was still dark outside; sunrise wasn’t until 7.30am. I turned to my side to find Layla sleeping peacefully with her phone next to her.

I haven’t heard from him in 4 days.

I missed 3abboud.

Alot.

I got out of bed very quietly, making sure I didn’t wake her up. Finding my bag on the floor, I reached for my phone.

Nothing.

I missed 3abboud.

Alot.

I stepped into the bathroom and looked at my face. My makeup was smudged below my eyes, making me look like someone who just got out of a fistfight. Even though I knew it was only because I had forgotten to clean it off before I went to bed yesterday, I realized that it did reflect the way I felt today.

I missed 3abboud.

Alot.

I grabbed a change of clothes and hopped into the shower. Nothing could soothe me more than a hot shower. I let the heat liquefy all my problems. I let the force of its droplets untangle the knots in my back. I let the water wash all my troubles away.

Ten minutes later, I stepped out of the shower and rushed to my phone.

Nothing.

Tears made their way to my eyes, but I held them back as I put on my clothes. I decide to apply my makeup outside so I don’t turn on the lights that might wake Layla up. I grabbed my phone in my hand on my way out, contemplating on whether I should swallow my pride and let him know how much I needed him.

On how much I missed his good morning messages.

On how much I missed the sound of his voice.

On how much I missed feeling his lips on my forehead.


On how much I missed…him.


I stepped out of the room and closed the door behind me very, very slowly.

“9ba7 el5air” came a whisper, with a hint of laughter in it. It made me jump.

M7ammad was sunk in the sofa, wearing brown trousers and a beige shirt. His top three buttons were undone.

“9ba7 elnoor”

“Layla nayma?”

“Ee”

“Oo entay shmga3dch hal7azza?”

“Madree…elso2al ohwa ent shmga3dk?”

He took a deep breath and gave me a weak smile.

“I couldn’t sleep a9lan”

“Mn 9ijik?”

“Yup. Not at all. Stayed up all night.”

I sat on the sofa next to him. ”Oh, dude that sucks”

“Tell me about it. Wanna watch some TV?”

“Why not?”

We chatted a little and switched on the TV.

“No breakfast elyom?”

“I figured since Lilly hnee, we could go somewhere instead of eating in”

I pulled my mirror out and started applying my eyeliner. M7ammad grabbed his tie from the table infront of us and tried to put it on, struggling with his bandaged wrist in the process.

“Need help?”

“Maby a2atheech” he said shyly.

“Shda3wa? I’m the cause of the wrist damage anyway” I smiled gratefully, “bs goum I can’t tie it oo ent ga3ed”

He stood up and I stood infront of him. Somehow, it felt less awkward than yesterday. Nonetheless, his beating heart against my palm was still driving me crazy.

“Yala put this underneath here-“

“I’m a fast learner” I interrupted as I winked at him. I then proceeded to tie it in silence. Silence that didn’t include his throbbing heart.

I pulled his tie halfway up to his neck, then gently closed his undone buttons, noticing that my fingertips lingered a bit more on his bare skin that they probably should have. I then pulled his tie up to his neck, and left my palms against his chest. I didn’t move.

I felt his heart push the most sensitive part of my palm outwards.

His heartbeat.

Lub. Dub. Lub. Dub. Lub. Dub. Lub. Dub.

There was something so soothing about it. It somehow transformed me to a state of utter peace.

Lub. Dub. Lub. Dub. Lub. Dub. Lub. Dub.

I felt my muscles relaxing. I felt my worries disappearing. I felt my heart slowing down.

Lub. Dub. Lub. Dub. Lub. Dub. Lub. Dub.

Serenity. Tranquility.

Lub. Dub. Lub. Dub. Lub. Dub. Lub. Dub.

A few minutes passed by. I don’t know how much, but I could feel that minutes followed minutes as I stood there, indulged in his heartbeats.

“9ba7 el5air” echoed Layla’s voice.

M7ammad’s head turned and I saw lines forming against the muscles of his neck as I stared at it. I didn’t move. I couldn’t move. I was plastered in this position. I was a wax figure.

This would be a good time to acknowledge her existence, said the little voice in my head.

“Shlonkom?”

I felt his heartbeat becoming faster and more forceful. I wouldn’t have been surprised if it ripped his chest apart and landed into my hand at that very moment.

“El7amdellah…entay shlonich Lilly?”

When he spoke, the sound of his voice came from his entire chest. Every word and every letter and every syllable was felt through my palm before it was heard by my ears. The vibrations, though, finally managed to shoot me back to reality.

My brain had to remind me of the way things were looking infornt of Layla right now. Me and M7ammad, standing only inches apart. My hands on his chest. His head tilted so he can look at her and speak to her. I, on the other hand, am standing there in complete silence, simply staring at his him.

The realization of it all made me pull my hands suddenly and step away from M7ammad. I looked at Layla, but the disheveled look she gave me made me stare at the ground in shame.

“Shlonich Hayooya?” Her tone of voice was friendly, and so was the question. But there was something strange about it.

Curiosity maybe? Sympathy?

I couldn’t quite place my hands on it.

“El7amdella all good” I glanced at her quickly, and realized that her usual friendly expression was there. There was something else there too, but this time, I couldn’t tell what it was.

“Ay sa3a lazem namshy?”

“We have to be there by 9”

“Oh, 3ayal yala yamdeeny albes”

“Ee yala ba3ad 3shan yamdeena we grab some food before we go”

“Killa hamk 3la ba6nk ent?!”

He laughed whole-heartedly.

“What’s new?”

She went back to change and get ready, while M7ammad and I sat in silence infront of the TV. I don’t know about him, but I know I was staring at it absent-mindedly, seeing absolutely nothing of what the images infront of me portrayed.


Until I felt his cold fingertips on my cheek.