Tuesday, September 29

Contrasting Realities 29

“Aloo, hala 7beeby...5air...gool wallah...a7madoo e7lef...a7madoo you're not just saying this...ya3ny she's better?”

She fell silent while holding the phone as tears rolled down her face.

“Haa?...ee ee kany...a7madoo I cant believe this...wallah el3atheem etha raddait oo I found out enk bs ga3tge9 3ly mara7 asam7k abadan...ee 7amood booked me a flight for tomorrow morning, I leave here at 6am inshallah...ok 7beeby 5alas ashoofk bacher 3ayal, deer balek 3aleha a7madoo...7beeby enta...m3asalama”

She hung up and put the phone down, and turned to me, with her tears still on her face. Then, out of the blue, she jumped over the bed and onto me, holding me in the tightest embrace one could think possible that I fell back on the bed owing to its force.

“A7ibch Hayooya a7ibch wallah el3atheem a7ibch!!” she spoke in between kisses all over my cheeks, while still holding me. “You're my good luck charm...you're my best luck charm”

“Ya ba3ad 3umry entay” I hugged her back tighter and kissed her back, “she's better now?”

“6la3at mn el3enaya elmurakaza oo the doctor says she's in a stable condition”

“El7amdella....7amdella 3la salamat'ha 7beebty”

“Allah ysalmch galby...allah ysalmch” she said hugging me tighter. Just when I thought I couldn't breathe anymore, she suddenly let go of me and stood up. “Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!! 5al a6amen 7amood...mskeen 7beeby ga3ya7ty wayed! Wa3alayah elyom he tolerated my mental breakdown oo ana enfajart eb wayha oo oho mala sheghl” she pouted.

“Yala 3ayal roo7ay 6amneeh”

“Mara7 tyeen?”

“Haa? Erm...la2 bansede7 shway ta3bana...I had a really long day” I said as I sat down on the bed.

She came and sat down next to me, studying my face for a few moments. I avoided eye contact, but then again, she didn't need rocket science to figure out something was wrong.

“Haya...what happened elyom?”

“Ma9ar shay...I just needed sometime alone fa meshait 3ankom shway”

She sighed loudly and laughed a little.

“You really dont know how see-through you are, do you?”

I blushed.

“Haya 7abeebty mn el2a5er, I know something happened with you and M7ammad and I know you wouldn't just leave like that unless that something was huge”

I stayed quiet.

“Haya look at me” she said, turning my face towards her, “ana bagoolich something that I've been keeping from you for a while now, bs I think now is the right time for you to know it”

I raised my eyebrow in confusion.

“Hayooya when you first came to the company, I came to know you oo we really hit it off. Even though I didn't know you very well, bs you struck me as a pure innocent soul with a beautiful heart...wa7da kil dinyat'ha mn elgalb..mat3arf ghesh wla hypocrisy nafs elnas hal ayyam...which is why I loved you...which is why I still love you”

I smiled.

“Tathkreen awal meeting 7atharteeh blshareka? Awal mara I talked to you”

“How can I forget it?”

“Tell me what do you remember about that meeting”

“Athker it was my first week blshareka...oo Dr. Nasser asked me to attend l2ana they were discussing a new proposal for a new theme for the company...ya7laila he was so enthusiastic about me joining the marketing team, he actually told me that I had to report back to him personally after the meeting and not the marketing team, and then he would personally take what I had to say into consideration and weigh it against what they had to say” I smiled back at the memory.

“Tathkreen bethabt shino 9ar youm elmeeting?”

“Yeah...athkr Dr. Nasser told me about the meeting after it started...oo I had to walk in into the room infront of all of you guys oo ma kint a3arf wla a7ad minkom back them, oo infront of the people from the two advertising companies responsible for the rebranding...ambaih shino kanat fashla” I smiled and hid my face in embarrassment.

“Tathkreen shino 9ar awal ma ba6alty elbab oo dashaity elghurfa?”

I cringed at the thought.


“Shino 9ar Haya?”

“Nothing important really” I said, looking away.

She turned me to face her once more.

“Shino 9ar Haya?”

I sighed.

“Athker awal ma dashait, someone was heading to the light switch next to the door to switch the lights off since they were just about to start with the presentations. Athker I paused at the door for a second, as everyone in the room looked up, to take a look at the idiot who had enough guts to walk into the room half an hour after the meeting started,” I smiled as I remembered, “athker wahy 9ar a7maaaaar mn kithr ma kint metfashla, oo how everyone was just staring at me, waiting to see what my next move will be. Athker I stood there contemplating leaving, not only the meeting and the company, bs this whole country mn kithr elfashla. Athker ench asharteely to come to the only remaining seat next to you. Athker ena the only two people who werent looking at me were A7mad raylich oo M7ammad because they were too busy chatting amongst each other at madree shino...oo athker when they looked up...” and I fell silent again.

“Esh9ar Haya?” she squeezed my hand tighter.

“Athker how when they finally noticed that the room fell silent, they looked up. Athker how M7ammad took a sip of water as he was turning his head, and then how he choked on it when he saw me. I never felt so...so...so...repulsive in my life. Athker how A7mad had to hit him on his back to get him to breathe again, and how when he finally did, he took a look at me from head to toe, and then looked away disgustedly-”

“Disgustedly?” she inquired.

“Disgustedly” I repeated.

She smiled to herself. “Kamlay”

“G3adt yamich through the meeting oo I remember that you just had this motherly aura around you. You kept asking me if I was alright and if I needed anything unlike certain other people who never even bothered looking my way twice again hehe” I rolled my eyes with a smile on my lips, “Athker how you invited me to your office later that day, and you helped me with my notes and what to do. And I vividly remember that the conversation drifted into lots of things that had nothing to do with work in the process”

“We talked about you and 3abboud and your career in economics and your favorite movies hehe”

“Yeah” I said with a smile.

“Haya...et3arfeen ana ma3arf alf wadoor 9a7?”

I look at her with questioning eyes, “ee”

“Fa ana bagoolich what I have point blank and straight to the point oo entay try to absorb as much of it as you can, ok?”

I gulped and tried to clear my throat, “okay”

“Haya, that day lama M7ammad saw you in the meeting, he was so mesmerized by you and your presence that he chocked on his water. He wasnt laughing at you. If you were sitting next to him like A7mad was, you would've heard him gasp for air. You took his breath away, literally. Oo A7madoo feham exactly what had happened, thats why he hit him on his back to try and diffuse the situation l2ana he knew ena M7ammad kan mtane7 oo was gonna embarrass himself and you infront of everyone.”

I was staring at her with a jaw dropped and eyes wide open. She acknowledged my shock and continued talking.

“When the meeting was over, athker A7madoo oo 7amood yaw oo A7madoo gal sheftay hatha l7mar shlon bugha yafth7 nafsa elyom...oo ana lma the7akt, 7amood looked me dead in the eyes and said Layla...abeeha. When you came over to my office later, te3amadt as2lch 3n your love life oo chithy, oo lama geltelty 3n 3abboud and how happy you were with him, gelt 7ag 7amood wa5er 3anha she's taken. 6Ab3an ma 3ajba elkalam awal shay oo swalef laish they're not even official oo I deserve a chance just like him oo I'll treat her right too, A7madoo gala 7amood, leave the girl alone, its either us or her, oo you choose”

My jawline continued its descent.

“He picked us 6ab3an. He decided not to pursue you. Bldawam he kept things professional, bs still, he saw how nice you were around people and you kept getting to him simply by being who you are. The sweet, independent woman that always gives people the benefit of the doubt. It drove him crazy. He couldnt handle you being nice to him all the time. And thats when he decided he doesnt want you to give him the benefit of the doubt anymore”

She took a deep breath and continued.

“You see, 7amood was never a player. He fell in love mara, and she cheated on him. And it was only then that he started playing around, l2ana to him all women were the same. And he knew exactly how to keep it on the down low. Bs he wanted you to hate him, to despise him, to never even consider the possibility of being with him, and thats why he decided to play around with elbanat eli blshareka, and thats why you started hearing about him being a player and all. It was easier for him to be away from you when he knew you hated him”

She squeezed my hand tighter and then looked me straight in the eye.

“I know we had no right to tell him what to do, and that, in a way, that was us interfering in your life, but me and A7madoo know 7amood very well, and we knew he was a player. We thought you were just his new thing, and we didnt want him to ruin your relationship with 3abboud over one of his games. If we thought it would go somewhere, then it would've been okay, but we know 7amood too well. He just wants what he cant have. And he couldnt have you...thats why he wants you so bad.”

I took my palm out of hers and ran my fingers through my hair nervously, trying to absorb what's being said. Anything...a sentence...a word...a thought....but nothing went through. It felt like my brain had shut down.

“I'm sorry Haya, bs wallah, I just wanted whats best for you”

I snapped back to reality.

“Enzain la7tha...you said you told him to back off, but what the hell has he been doing for the past few days?”

She took a deep breath.

“Hayooya, ma la7ath'tay ena M7ammad has been acting strange since I got here?”

“ee...wayed...a9lan kil dgeega ebmood...i'm starting to think ena fee enfe9am sha59eya”

She smiled.

“Mn 9ijji Lilly!! Try to convince me ena his actions are normal or rational!!”

She winked at me “I wasnt gonna try babe”


“Hayooya gabl la tamshoon I warned M7ammad ena he behaves. Geltla wallah etha sm3at'ha teshteky mnk, mara7 y9er 5air kilish. Oo he was okay with it, until...” she stopped.

“Until shino Layla?” curiousity was killing me.

“Until you passed out. Until you both got stuck sharing the same suite. Athker he called me up quite a few times and he's like Layla many gader at7amal the situation, she's so close to me and yet so far away. He would tell me about every little thing you would do, from the way you looked at him when you were upset, to the way you looked when you were asleep. He was getting so attached to you. He even considered coming back here and cutting the trip short. When I pleaded him for Dr. Nasser's sake, he was still hesitant and wanted to come back, but when I told him that him leaving means you alone in this country, he couldnt do it. He couldnt leave you Haya. He was falling in love with you and I saw it with my own eyes when I got here. It wasnt just about him wanting you anymore. He was falling for you.”

I felt like the Japanese after they were hit with the Hiroshima bomb.

“When I came back, he was trying to behave as much as he could jeddamy. I saw him a few times oo zaffaita...until you told me about 3abboud. Lama gelteely ena you're both met'hawsheen, 7asaitich you're not happy, 7asait ena 7az eb5a6rch ena ma s2al 3anncih wla 7ata ye6aman 3laich...o that day kint ga3da asolef m3 M7ammad and he was talking to me about you and how he wished he had met you earlier, before 3abboud...and I just told him to go for it. I figured right now, he has a chance fair and square against him, o bema ena 3abboud ghala6, ymkn 7amood treats you better fahma?”

I suddenly felt a wave of rage run through my spine, yet I spoke as calm as can be.

“Lilly you know I love you, 9a7?”

“Ofcourse I do”

“But that gives you absolutely no right to run my life for me or make decisions on my behalf. I think I'm old enough to do that for myself ya3ny”

“Haya it wasnt like that, la tefhemeeny ghala6. I was-”

“Whatever it is that you were trying to do, this was the end result. And thats just not acceptable Layla”

She fell silent for a few moments.

“I'm sorry Haya”

It was amazing how one little word...how one little apology seemed to make it all go away. Even though the problem still remained and wasnt lessened by her apology in any form or way, I felt a load falling off my chest and I felt like I could...breathe.

I turned my head towards her with a smile. A smile loaded with confusion and choking emotions.
“Shasawy eb 3umry ana al7en?” I said with my eyes fixed on hers.


“Madry” I said, looking away from her eyes at the our intertwined hands.

She took her hand and moved my chin towards her, allowing me to once again lock eyes with her.

“There's your answer” she said with a smile.

I was confused.


“Ma se2alteny who I meant, which means you are considering possibility, which means you see some potential bl athwal eli bara"

“I'm not so sure thats a good thing you know”

“Wa3asa an takraho shay2an wahowa khayron lakom”

“Wane3ma bellah” I sighed.

“Haya” she looked at me sternly, “7amood is a good guy. Deep inside he is, wallah he is. He's just human, 7ala 7alna, makes mistakes. Ymkn his mistakes akbar wala a8wa wala wala wala...but that doesnt make him a bad person deep down. He's a great guy...he just needs to...you know...find that person to make him settle down. Kila agola ent eli bta5thk omha da3ya 3aleha oo yred 3ly...laa ana etha khathait wa7da wallah ya Lilly wallah omha da3yatlaha...and even though I laugh it off...I believe him Haya”

“Etha kan 7amood a great guy deep down, 3abboud is a great guy inside out Lilly”

“Adry 7abeebty, and thats your dilemma”

“I dont want to be cheating on him Lilly. He deserves better than him. And I dont wanna break his heart either”

“Tabeen raye?”

“Laa 9arly sena talking to you about it bs habal” I remarked sarcastically.

“Give them both a chance. Find out what kind of person 7amood is and whether he's serious or not while setting your limits, without betraying 3abboud's trust. You have a few more days here, so see how things go”

“I'm considering another guy Lilly, ay betraying his trust ay ba6ee5?!”

“Haya na9eebich is na9eebich...etha 7amood yours, he will be yours gha9ban 3anich entay oo 3abboud, oo etha 3abboud yours, then nothing 7amood will do can change that. Tra kil hatha maktob 3nd rabbich since you were 3 months old eb ba6n omich. You know ena whatever happens, whichever way things go, na9eebich byech, 9a7?”



Anonymous said...




shoug said...

that was AMAZING!!! walla... by far the best post ever!! 9a7 ina ma 9ar wyd events bain m7amad oo haya bes a7s it cleared up the whole story ...
walla i loved it! ur writing iyanin!! ;****

Anonymous said...


3anooda said...

ok kint nawya azifich zaffa mu7tarama 3ala il7arakat ily malha da3y hathy - shinu itgooleen once a week oo tsaweelna questionnaire oo chee. a5er shay one post fil shahar??


3awa'6thteeh ib hal post il3ajeeb.


Karamilah said...

what a turning point, loved it, hugs and :*
3abood is so over nice but m7md i think will be the one

Standy said...

i loved this post.. so honest..
do i dare say its short and i really didnt want it to end?

yooy said...

i love love love love love love you.
now let the drama begin ;)

Gutter Flower said...

erm.. hi?

*tara 7adi 5ayfa minich btw*

Halaa;* said...

i loooovveeee "lilyyy" 7dha 7laiwaa!

A Journal Entry said...

wu9alt il end of the post ebsir3a i thought it was a loooong one!

welcomee baaaack.. a7la 3eediyah ;)

Pearla said...

:D M7mad action blnext post :D yaay!!!!

*Bella said...

*Jumps up and down*
Welcome back with the best post :*
I was lingering 3ala kel kelma .. wish to see you more active .. missed your presence :)

Aurous said...

thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaank yooooooooooooooooooooooou :D

amazing post, as always ^_^

Nawarii said...

ur baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...sooo sooooooo soooooo glad ur back and ur back with a long and juicy post :D:D yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay *clapping hands* a7ibichhhhhhhh mashkoooora

Anonymous said...

next post please don't take so looong love!

Lilo♥ said...

yay, you posted <3

I loved it! Best one yet, really, you've outdone yourself :*

Phlash. said...

YOUR ALIVE ! :D Im very very very happy you posted this, I didn't even read it yet. I bet its goood ;]
Truly yours, x

Captivated said...

7amoood oo chenna el 3eeed!! khalas 3aboood e7tarag filma!

Anonymous said...

Omg •_• plz plz next post... AM DYING HERE!!!