Tuesday, May 5

Contrasting Realities 24

This post is not only dedicated to Gutter Flower; it was written for her altogether.
I kept my end of the deal...now its time to keep yours ;Pp
For the sake of the exams and presentations I have, and for the sake of this extra extra extra long post i managed to juggle in between them ;)
yala i'm waiting for my twin to come back ;Pp
oo btw, dont expect me again for a couple of weeks =(
me got wayed exams =(

I stormed out of the store into the pouring rain and stopped midway.

What was I doing?
Where was I going?

And most importantly, who was I going to, knowing fully well that the only two people I knew in this country were in that store?

As I stood there, contemplating what to do, electricity made its way throughout my body as images of me and M7ammad kissing played in my head. And I say of me and him kissing, because I know that not pushing him away made me as guilty as it made him.

What have I done?

Betrayed 3abboud? Betrayed the only gentleman I have ever met in my life? Betrayed the one guy who never gave up on me? Betrayed the one person whose life I mean everything to?


I betrayed myself.

The realization killed me. I found myself running through the middle of the street in the pouring rain across the very few people on it. Tears were streaming down my face and thoughts were emerging into my head at the rate of 1000 thoughts per second.

What have I done?

I couldn’t think. My head felt heavy owing to all the thoughts in them. But that didn’t mean I couldn’t stop thinking either.

What have I done?

I ran and I ran and I ran till I could run no more. I only slowed down when I started getting short of breath and when I felt like I could run no more. As my steps slowed down, I felt all the pain from running with high heels shooting across my toes, my heels, my knees and my spine.

As the pain intensified, I slowly felt myself losing my balance. Trying to restore it though, I broke my heel and fell on my leg. I let out muffled scream as I felt the sharp pain of my ankle twisting underneath me.

“5araaaa! Ektemal elyom bs 5alas kil shay ektemal!” I screamed at myself loudly as I held on to my throbbing ankle, with tears still flowing down my face.

“Shely ektemal?” came a Kuwaiti accent from the man who was now on his knees from behind me.

I turned my face to look at him. He was holding an umbrella above my head and looking at me intently, with a concerned look in his dark brown eyes. He wasn’t handsome, but he had a certain charm to him. Even though his cleanly shaven face carried a stern and serious look, there was something about it that screamed out generosity and kindness.

“Laa bas mako” I tried getting up, but winced as pain shot up from my ankle.

“Kuwaity female lying on the ground on the streets of London, with bloodshot eyes, smudged makeup and tears rolling down her face heavier than this rainfall oo etgoleenly mako?”

Listening to him telling me how pathetic I looked managed to make me sob, and not just cry. I was now gasping for air as loud tears escaped my eyes.

“Shhhhhhh…” he said as he put his arms around me in a warm embrace, “bs bs 5alas kil shay lah 7al ehdy bs”

Even though I felt safe in his arms, I somehow managed to cry harder. Every tear I shed was filled with guilt and confusion, but most of all, a sense of utter loneliness and fear of what was to come next.

“Basss shhhhhhh ehdy baba…all these tears aren’t gonna solve anything…mako shay yeswa kil haldmoo3”

I don’t know how long I sat there crying in this stranger’s arms as we both sat on the street under the rain, but eventually, my tears stopped falling and my chest stopped heaving. When my breathing became more regular, I finally pulled away from him. He wiped the remaining tears off my face.

“So, do you make a habit of twisting your ankle on rainy days?”

I laughed weakly.

“I didn’t think you could smile after all that crying”

“I try not to make a habit out of it”

“Good…cz if you do, then more people like me would be catching a cold from sitting under the rain”


“Hey! I’m not complaining! How many times do you see someone you can actually relate to in distress and can offer a hand to? Though I must say, you don’t look very Kuwaity…loo mo sam3ch ga3da tet7al6amain bl3araby chan ma darait”

“I’ll try to do that more often to provide entertainment”

Awkward silence.

“Oh, I’m so sorry, ma 3araftich 3la nafsy. Ana Fahad.” He extended his hand for me to shake.

“Haya…nice to meet you and cry in your arms” I said as I shook his hand and gave him a wide smile.

“Laa oo you crack jokes when you’re upset ba3ad? Zain ya Haya…shrayech ngoom mn kil halmu6ar?”

“My ankle…”

“mmm…zain tra this is my place…” he pointed to the building I was sitting infront of, “oo I’m a doctor, fa I have all sorts of medical supplies up there…shrayech t6l3een weyay I do something about your ankle oo I fix you something warm to drink?”

Should I even be contemplating going to this complete random stranger’s place?

As if reading my thoughts, he continued “Tra you can take my word for me not being a serial killer or a rapist I promise”. He raised his pinky.

I laughed loudly.

“I’ll take that as a yes” he said grinning. He got up and his figure came into view. He was tall and had broad shoulders, but was carrying a few extra pounds. I tried holding on to him as he held out his hands for me and shifting my weight to my good leg, but stumbled and nearly fell again had he not held me.

“mmm…I guess I’m just going to have to carry you. You’re not to heavy, are you?”

I shot him a look, and was just about to open my mouth when he saved himself.

“Yuba ga3at’3ashmar ga3at’3ashmar! La yen3efes wayhech chithee…I thought you were all for making jokes and what not”

I smiled again as I put my arms around his neck and he carried me into his building and its elevator.

“So do YOU make a habit of helping girls who break their heels under the rain?”

“Naaa…only the ones who fall right infront of my eyes as I step out of my building”

“Oh! I hope eny mo m2a5retek 3la shay”

“La don’t worry…I was just going for a walk”

“In the rain?” I said as he stepped out of the elevator and reached his flat.

“Shfeech entay? I love the rain!”

“Great minds think alike”

“Zain look, ana ma ra7 agdar aba6el elbab while carrying you…shrayech you reach into elpocket mal my jacket and get the key 3shan you open it?”

I did as I was told. He pushed the door open with his leg and we stepped into a small cozy flat, with books everywhere…on the floor, on the sofa, on the dining table…everywhere.

“Excuse the mess…my exams are coming up soon”

“Excused wallah allah y3eenk…enta doctor wla student?”

“Doctor…I’m doing post-grad” he lay me down on the sofa.

“I see…allah y3eenk”

He kneeled on the floor infront of me and gently took off my shoe. Then, he started looking at my foot from different angles.


“Shino mmm? Like good mmm wla bad mmm?”

“Like mmm…” he said, looking at me sternly.

I started to worry, but stayed silent nonetheless.

“Do you realize you’re pulling the cutest puppy face right now?”

I blushed.

“Sorry tara I don’t want you to get the wrong impression, ma kan 8a9dy shay wallah…bs you should see your face”

I smiled silently.

“So back to what we were saying…” he changed the subject, “…I don’t think its anything serious; I mean, its not swollen or anything. Probably just a bruise from the fall and nothing more”

“That’s good news, 9a7?”


“Bs it still hurts like hell though…oo I cant walk 3aleha kilish”

“I’ll tell you what…I’ll wrap it up for you oo a7e6lch 3aleh painkiller ointment. That should kill the pain for a few hours till it goes away. Shrayech?”

“You’re the doctor” I winked.

He got up and walked to a cabinet near the kitchen. After fidgeting with some ointments, inhalers and pills, he finally took out a long bandage roll and a metal clips, and a white tube of ointment.

He came back to me and sat cross legged on the floor. Then, he gently took my leg into his hands. He then squeezed some ointment out of the tube onto my leg and gently started massaging it along my foot. I flinched a little as I felt the pressure of his fingers against my foot.

“May5alef its gonna hurt shwaya, only for a minute till the medication kicks in. then, you wont feel a thing”

And he was right. The next thing I knew was that the pain had disappeared completely and all I could feel was his soft palms against my ankle.

“Better?” he said when he was done.

“Oh you have no idea”

“I’ll just wrap it up for you ba3ad 3shan yray7ch m3 elpressure”

He gently, yet firmly, wrapped my ankle. When he was done, he asked me to get up and stand. When I did, I felt absolutely no pain at all.

“This is great! Its all gone! Chenna ma 9ar shay!” I said, looking down at him as he sat cross-legged on the floor.

“Its gonna be like that for the next few hours too” he smiled, and then got up on his feet. “Now that we have that fixed comes the most important part, you’re soaked. Lazem etbadleen l2ana by7ooshich cold etha you stay like this. Fa I’ll just go get you a change of clothes 3shan your clothes dry up while I fix you something to drink. Deal?”

I hesitated. It wasn’t like me to accept offers like this.

But then again, its not like I’ve ever been in this situation before.

“Fair enough”

“Make yourself at home 3ayal” he called out as he walked into his room.

I smiled as I looked around me. On the sofa next to me lay a few books. On the coffee table were two stethoscopes. Papers and notebooks were everywhere.

He came back with an oversized GAP sweatshirt and sweatpants.

“These are the only things I own that are clean and will fit you. Sorry.”

“They’re fine. Wallah I really appreciate it. You’re too kind.” I said, giving him a grateful smile.

“Yala roo7ay badlay…3ndch the room or the bathroom inside it if you wanna take a shower or something...eli yray7ch. Oo when you’re done, just give me your clothes a7e6hom bl dryer”


“Don’t mention it, shda3wa? Bs tell me…shino teshrbeen?”

I looked outside the window and saw that it still wasnt sunset.

“A cup of coffee would be great”

“Then coffee it is. Egoloonly no one can fix a cup of coffee like me, so maybe you can tell me if its all mujamalat.”

“I guess”

“Yala off you go. Take your time, don’t rush, tra ma waray shay. Oo lma t5al9een ta3aly”

I walked into his room and slowly stepped inside. It was obvious he tried to clear it up in the few minutes he was inside earlier for my sake. Even though I wasn’t looking, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror.

And what I saw scared me…

My hair was twirled into tangles and greasy knots all around my face. My eyeliner and mascara were practically everywhere on my face except my eyes.

And the lipstick…

The red lipstick that was all over my mouth and chin and cheek.

Seeing it there brought it all back.

I felt my eyes filling up with tears again as I started remembering what I had been successfully shoving at the back of my head since I met Fahad.

I suddenly felt cold and started shivering. I realized that my clothes were practically dripping with all the rain they had soaked up. For the first time today, I felt like I wasn’t emotionally numb.

I opted to take a shower and try to make myself look less zombie-like. I kept my mind off things during my shower by looking at Fahad’s shampoos and shower gels and smelling them at times, and by trying to keep the water away from my bandaged leg at others.

When I stepped out of the shower, I was a bit light-headed. Even though I knew it was because of the extra-hot shower I took, I knew that wasn’t the only reason. I felt exhausted. I felt weak. I felt drained.

I decided to sit down on the bed for a few minutes till the dizziness subsided, in fear of falling down and breaking my leg for real this time.

The next thing I knew was me in a deep, dreamless slumber on this stranger’s bed.


Anony said...


Anony said...

laish ana wala mara sar 7ag post !!! @@

ĐǻñĎõøðñ said...

says who ma9arlich?? ;Pp


Cupid ;* said...

I'm soooo loving this;*** you won't imagine the happiness that were filled in my eyes as soon as I saw that you posted;**

Anony said...

laa abi chethyy ehda'a o 7arakaat o madre shiuno :P

im not liking haya :\

CuteandCuddly said...

oh my god Fahad is so my kind of guy can i steal him :)
she has two other guys right :P
and he is a doctor "sigh"
i love it cant wait for the next one :)

Sunset said...

Ok so she should totally ditch 3abood o m7ammad cuz they seriously suck, o especially 3aboood, ufff 7ada ynarfz, o la wla m7ammad omg guys are asses! Hahahah bs walll aI totally loved the new guy! Let it be him, la la7'9a what am I saying akeed it him, 9a7? 9AAAA7?
I'm dieing plsssssss tell me, loveeeeeee your stooooooory btwww!

love ;** said...

fahad ya fahad, la o doctor b3d WOOW ;p

Ma adre shagolich, leana I think you know by now just how much I love your writing, and your posts o hm if you write 10 pages I still wont get enough ill still ask for more. You have this thing when I read your post I zone everything out o I just focus 3la your words and I try to imagine what you are writing about, like her in the flat in the over sized shirts, adree adree bs im like that with everything ;p

LOVE you ;**

Gutter Flower said...

HEY! KAN LAZIM ANA FIRST! bs 6ab3an garadti il MO 6ABEE3IYA 5alat charge my stupid bb E5ALE9 as soon as i opened my dashboard! IMAGINE BS!! tawny a7een we9alt il bait.. wait let me go read.. oo THAKREENY AGOLICH SH9AR 3AN IL COCKROACH!!

Gutter Flower said...

umm.. dandoon?????


wain m7ammad?????

this wasnt our deal.. so dont expect me to keep my end of the bargain =p looks like warach post thani darling.. and dont u dare glare at the screen!! GO BACK TO OUR CONVERSATION OO CHOFAY IL DEAL CONSISTED OF WHAT!!! (m7ammad-filled post) =@

bs to be honest.. i loved this post.. kan change 7elo.. and very unexpected.. KLAIBA INTAY KLAIBA!! bs ham a7ibich.. zefta.. everything u write is beautiful.. bs madri laish a7is hal fahad wara shay? la la miskeen.. uff madri.. bs again.. a very interesting twist.. i love it.. extra-beautifully written zefto ;*

bs.. erm.. lai7een abi a3arf..

WAIN M7AMMAD?!?!?!?!

OH OH! the dedication!! THAAAAAAAAAAANKKKKKKKK UUU!! wallah iny amoot 3alaich m3anich klaiba bs b3ad i adore u.. yamkin lana ana klaiba weyach.. bs STOP BLAMING ME FOR UR PRESENTATIOOOOON! I DIDNT KNOW OK! broo7ich INTY u didnt know! zaga zaga intay!! HMPH!!

bs 3ndy so2al..


a7een fehamt what u meant by "u wont see m7ammad.. sorry to burst ur bubble.. let me know if u like the alternative though"

tara im a loyal person.. oo m7ammad 7uby el abaadyyy.. asfa...

bs again.. loved it.. mashalla 3laich the ideas u come up with ya zaga.. walla a7ib everything u write..


wain m7ammmaad??

simply.me said...

ohh ..la2 la2 .. kaif ya3ni .. she did it w slept bdon ma t7s on his bed
u cant stop here .. 38ub ma t7amast .. !!
dandoon ma y9eer chthee .. t3theeb nafsy w fkry ..

elmohim .. 7baait el post .. yaa bwa8tah .. ;**
m7amaad:@ let him burn in hell seriously kaif leish ysawii chee b hayooya .. 7naaam
FAHAD .. * ya halla wallah * *winks*

Mar8adoosh said...


Stand-Alone~ said...

i cant think..
i cant proccess..
i dont have a comment..

Starlight<3 said...

I practically jumped up in excitement when I saw you posted, I didn't expect you to for a few weeks! ;p

WHY didn't M7ammad run after her or something? Stupid guy >.< He's so typical and surprising at the same time, just like Chuck Bass! Btw do you watch gossip girl? =p

I like Fahad alot he's a nice addition to the story but I want Haya with M7ammad, their made for each other :( It would however be interessting if she tried to ignore m7ammad by hanging out with Fahad and Fahad knew m7ammad.

Post as soon as you can and good luck with your exams ;*


Karamilah said...

been trying to read ur post since morning today on my way to the exhibition in dbai but for some reason whenever i open the page my bb freezes.
so i think i like fahad and loath m7mad and above all angry at 3bdallah

Hessa said...

I hate 3aboud 5ala9 :@ ! Wayed barid!
& wa7lailha Haya <3 !! w fahad is sooo sweet <3333

zuz said...

3ad gelna 5erteha bil department store o bestay:@ o gelna reelich madry sh9ar feha! shako tro7een tnamin eb bait el rayaaal?:@:@:@:@:!!!! klba:@!

:D mashkora for the post!!!;**

A Journal Entry said...

7asafa shakla we'll wait mudda for an update =/

bs emwafigah enshallah ;)

Pearla said...

DANDOOON ;@ !! i don't like FAHAD AT all .. ish daaa ? well no amzaa7he seems sweet and amazing bs NOOO !
Ino wheen she finaally kissed
m7maaad and her feelings towords him grew and M7mad made his move -- Fahad comes along ! DANDON NOO !!! ABE M7MAD .. Hes's the hot one , with the hot smell YUM !!!!!!

and 6b3an mshallaa your writing is amazing , i don't get enough of it ,, bs i hate that we wait for a week or so for the new post urgh we miss this ;* LOL ..
and Dandoon k2nhm 6walo in London ? ;p it's like 9arlhm 2 months there ;p hehehehe

MWAUH I love you !! and i miss U ;*

ĐǻñĎõøðñ said...

ba3ad 3umry entay wallah ;**
3asa hal happiness doum! =D


afa 3laich ;)
consider it done ;)


loooool ;)
ee chenha ma95at'ha ;)
chenha shes taking them all? ;Pp


you're too cute wallah ;**
we'll see we'll see!
bs if she doesnt take him, i'll give him to you ;Pp


ba3ad lovey entay wallah ;**
a7bch ya bnaya a7ebcccccch! =D
oo agoolich serr, this post was 10 pages looooool! ;)


gutter flower,
kalba entay kalba ;Pp
lma u didnt comment 3abaly matabeen tbayneen ya3ny 3la bo ena ur still away ;Pp

kint bazefch 7ata ;Pp

oo hey!! shino not keeping your end of the deal!! 5o bu6a6 elsalfa ya3ny ;Pp

wallah aglb elblogosphere 3laich foug ta7at....mo bkaifich a9lan...kalba ;Pp


oo and aby a3arf salfat elcockroach ;Pp

ps: m7ammad 3ndy ana nowww muahahahahaha ;Pp


simply me,
ana asfa 3al ta3theeb lol ;Pp
oo hala fahood haaa? kilkom 5awantaw eb 7amood oo 3aboud so fast ;Pp

ĐǻñĎõøðñ said...

entay wainich?!
zman i dont see you around ;Pp
oo post thany...erm..sooon...i hope? ;)


la7tha la7tha laish cant think!
think think think!
process process process!
comment comment comment!

looool ;)


because guys are idiots loool ;)
oo laa i dont watch gossip girl hehe ;)

bs hey! chithee youre giving me ideas for my next posts ;)
we never know how things will go with fahoood ;)


weeeee =\
laish 7aram 3abboud! =(
i loathe m7ammad too though ;)


wa3alayaaaa =\
everyone hates 3abboud ;Pp
7aram mskeen =(


ambaih zuz 7addich meshta6a!!
so adorable entay wallah ;**


a journal entry,
ee wallah ba3ad shasawy =(
must start studying at some point hehe ;)
thanks galby ;**


ee well...tajry alreya7 bema la tashtahy elsufonu ;)

oo wallah weddy i post more often bs ma yamdeeny a5ale9 mn shay ela oo y6ee7 3la rasy shay thany =\

shasawy =(

oo allah ysalmch this is day number 4, ya3ny buga 6 more days ;)
bs entay t7eseen ena time is pasisng by really slowly mn kithr la7dath hehe ;)

Aurous said...

I see you couldn't keep the story medicine free ;p

I like Fahad... she can have him and keep M7ammad for me :Pp

Gutter Flower said...

HAH.. u wish.. chofay shlon kilmn gelab 3ala m7ammad ila ana!! agolich ana loyal..

oo la7tha la7tha la7tha..

china 3yoony ga3da t5oony..

chiny gerait shay '3ala6?

u LOATHE m7ammad too??


u know what.. i dont care.. loathe him all u want.. a7een e3arf ina ma7ad byebgala '3airy kz im FAITHFUL.. 5ayna wa7da =@

HAH.. i won afterall ;)

and ofcourse im not keeping my end of the deal.. e7na etefaqna ekoon m7ammad filled post.. achoofich 7ethafty m7ammad oo ga6aitee weya il 9ara9eer.. hmph!!

ufffff ill email u 3an salfat il cockroach yal kalba.. KIlA BSIBITICH!

Yousef said...

Waai la2 don't tell me ena hal Fahad is a new character :< mo na89en e7na b3d cuz Haya mo 8adra 3la 2 persons hal mra a stranger y6l3 lena from nowhere! bs I hope ena ykon just a doctor y3ni mo wa7d ye3al8 eb Haya zyada 3n el-lzom ;Pp

Bs 9ij eli 8a3d y9er 7q Haya too much wallah! Hal Mohammed madri shno a8ol 3na bs ma abi elta3ber y5oni y3ni ;Pp I'll just and see fe el upcoming post etha ra7 y6l3 shno ra7 yswe AND!! Layla etha dart shno ra7 tswe b3d :( el story 8amt t9er 7maseya wayd! 6ab3n thanks to our talented girl DanDoon 3la Hal 7mas eli em5litna n3esha with her story :D
Wo I'll be waiting for next post 3la naar!

Pearla said...

let those two get married already and we'll all be happy :D happily ever after ;p .. you know who i mean ( hayoona and M7mad <3 )

I'll make a deal with u , i'll help u with ur home-works ino what ever ur busy with and write us a M7mad post !! pweeeez pweetttyy pweeeeez .. urgh ma ksrna 5aaa6rk we're begging for M7maad ,, 3thbteena with a post of NO M7mad :( ,, pearla very sad,wants M7mad ;(
and hahaha 6 more days left so day 4 was (the kissing day) happiest day :D hahaah .. Seriously dandooon if Fahad comes up urgh bz3al ! ma abi Fahad .. M7MD M7MD M7MD ...


shamayel said...

ok so i think i've been reading for the past 5 hours,, not sure maybe more lol i couldn't help it mn bdait hal story i cdnt stop .. so now the only reason im stopping is coz this is the last part u'v posted .. im seriously hooked !
7abbaaaaaiit the emotions that i somehow feel with Haya..
truly looking 4wrd to the next part ;)

Crescent said...

emm love your story m3na i don knw the beginning, bs 9ij wayed 7elwa, oo cant wait to knw wat happenes next, a7is im getting addicted already :P

Missy said...

esh9ar 3ala 3boood? :o

On-The-Rocks said...

I opted to take a shower and try to make myself look less zombie-like. I kept my mind off things during my shower by looking at Fahad’s shampoos and shower gels and smelling them at times, and by trying to keep the water away from my bandaged leg at others.

i laughed so much on how haya was smelling the shower gels and shampoos.

Daloul said...

babe plz plz pooooost
intay bitmawteeny moo ?
egh pleeease poostay i need it to get away from the stress bab :**

Crescent said...

meta r u goin to post again??? walla i cheack ur blog like 4 madwe 5 times aday etha u posted or not
plz plz post !!

ĐǻñĎõøðñ said...

ofcourse i couldnt ;Pp
it runs in my blood after 5 years lol ;)
oo gutter flower 3al waiting list, soory ;Pp


gutter flower,
glbay wayhich zain ;Pp
aham shay ena ur loyal...hatha eli buga 3la a5er elzaman entay tboogeena meny ;Pp

oo ee i loathe him for reasons discussed earlier ;Pp bs hamm ma ra7 aheda 7aggich ;pp

na7asa ya3ny ;Pp

y7lmooooooooooon! ;Pp


madree laish ana 3abaly u didnt comment! tawwny al7en astaw3eb ena u did looooool!
5anshoof mr. fahad hatha shino salfeta oho elthany ;Pp
bs shrayk feeny wana azeed el action oo a7e6 gas 3la fire? ;Pp

hehe...7addy fa9la al7en tra ;Pp


shfeekom 3la fahad!
5osh 9bay wallah...5athaha...he made her coffee, fixed her leg, made he sleep!
5osh ademy wallah ;)

bye bye m7ammad ;)

ps: 3ndy exam...would you sit it instead of me? ;Pp

ĐǻñĎõøðñ said...

ba3ad 7uby entay wallah ;**
im so glad you enjoyed it!
wallah its comments like these that make me keep writing ;**

hope you enjoy the upcoming even more galby ;**


well, considering im all busy with exams and what not, you have all the time in the world to read looooool ;)
im really glad youre enjoying though ;)


hes been missing ;Pp

like you ;Pp



dont laugh!
i do that too ;Pp
its a perfectly normal thing to do lol! ;)


esmella 3laich 7uby ;**
wallah i had even more stresses than you can imagine these past few weeks, oo exams coming up in the next few ;)
no time 7uby...shasawy? =(


ba3ad 3umry entay ;**
i started writing one today, so it should be ready soon inshallah ;)
im inspired and all hehe ;)