Contrasting Realities 4

To say I was stunned would be the understatement of the millennium. Never in a million years did I imagine that 3abdallah would think of me like that. We’ve been talking nearly everyday for the past 2 years, and he never even made a gesture that implied he was interested. I mean, he was like my brother and I was like his sister.

My facial expression changed instantly and mom saw it.

“What’s wrong Hayoo? I thought you’d be overjoyed! I thought you liked 3abboud”

“I love 3abboud mama, bs mo chithee. He’s like my brother and I can’t think of him any other way”

“Hayoo, are you trying to convince me ena kil hal 7achy oo elga3dat m3 ba3ath oo wla mara ba6al halmawthoo3 weyach?”

“Mama loo kan mba6l elmawthoo3 ma3ay, chan ana geltla la2 oo elmawthoo3 ma w9alch a9lan!”

Mom sighed.

“Zain o 3abdallah shfee ya3ny mo 3ajbch? Wala fee a7ad thany eb balech?”

“Yumma mako a7ad thany oo mafee shay l9bay mashallah 3aleh eyanen bs not for me. I just can’t think of him like that. He’s my brother oo you know that more than anyone else. Oo b3dain, ana a9lan mo 7a6a eb baly zawaj or anything al7en, maly 5elg halswalef, lail7eeny 9’3eera”

“Haya, you’re 23, shkether btan6reen ya3ny? Oo b3dain l9bay t3arfeena, oo a5la8a 3alya oo ahala eyanenoon oo met3alem oo open-minded…shtabeen zyada?”

I paused for a second and tried to contemplate the idea. But I couldn’t. The thought of me and 3abdallah – of me and my brother – disgusted me.

“Mama please, I’ve made up my mind. I don’t wanna talk about this anymore”

I tried to minimize talking to 3abdallah after this incident and avoiding him. I also noticed that he stopped calling me and messaging me like he used to before. He never actually talked to me about it or opened the subject with me – it was like nothing ever happened.

Things were awkward and uncomfortable, but the worst part was losing him a second time and missing him so badly.

Three months later, mom came and talked to me again because he had asked his mother to give it one more shot. I refused once more. Two months later, the same conversation went on with mom, and I was still sticking to my decision.

And it went on and on and on. They went back and forth to my mom four times in two years, until the last time about six months ago. It was about a month before I started working for my current company.

“Hayoo, Um-3abdallah taby t7acheech 3n 3abdallah”

“Shlon ya3ny taby t7acheeny 3n 3abdallah?”

“Ya3ny she wants to know why you keep saying no constantly, l2ana tgool she knows you too well oo she wants to know shino salfitich”

“Mama mako salfa you know that! I’m not with anyone else oo there’s nothing wrong with 3abdallah! I just don’t want him! Can’t I make my own decisions?!”

“Goleelha entay hal7achy tra entay 7addich mfashlatny wiyaha”

“Mama I can’t tell her maby weldch chithee eb wayeha! I like her too much to do that wallah may9eer”

“Oo ana magdar agoolaha la t7acheenha Hayoo…ana already mtfashla menha bsebetch, oo they’ve been nothing but extremely civilized and patient with your unreasonable head! Wallah loo 3abboud weldy chan segta 6rag ena lel7een m36eech wayh a9lan. Deggy 3laiha oo 7acheeha”

“Bs mama – “

“Mako bas…ana dala3tich zyada 3n elezoom”


Reluctantly, I called her up. After exchanging formalities, she went straight to the point.

“Haya 7abeebty, shfeech 3la 3abboud?”

I sighed.

“5alty wallah ma feeny shay bs 3abboud nafs o5oy, I cant think of him like that…wallah mo 8a9dy shay, ana adree oho 5osh 9bay oo entay 5osh 5alah, bs I just can’t imagine it in my head”

She paused for a second, then spoke.

“I know what you mean”

“You do? Shlon? Etha a9lan my own mother thinks I’m crazy!!”

“Hayoo, ana adree feech 7beebty…tadreen loo 3ndy bnaya entay btkoneen agrablee menha. I know what you mean exactly. Entay oo 3baid metrabyeen m3 ba3ath oo akthar mn e5wan, so I understand that things feel awkward. That’s why ana ma e3taratht lma 3baid gal se2looha mara oo athnain oo thalath. Rabby el3alem loo someone else chan shino sawwait fee”

She took a breath, then continued.

“Hayoo, ana ban967ch n9ee7a chenna entay eli bnty oo oho mo weldy…l9bay shareech shareech shareech, you have no idea. Oo methl ma gelty, mo nag9a shay. So shino bte5sreen if you give it a try? Ymkn oho ma ya3jeba elwath3 oo he walks out, ymkn ma tetaf8oon…enty shdarach?”

“Ee bs 5alty – “

“Sm3eeny lel2a5er Hayoo. If I was in your shoes, I would agree to taking things slow, very very slow…la 5e6ba wala ya7zanoon oo a7e6 7g nafsy time limit mu3ayan to make a decision b3dain. Eb hal time limit, think of 3abdallah in a non-brother kind of way, oo see how you’re gonna react to it. In the beginning, it won’t be easy…bs ba3dain, you’ll find it really easy to make a decision, be it you accept his proposal or reject it. Oo ana geltlch eli 3ndy Hayoo, fakkray blmawthoo3 oo reddy 3ly”

“5alty ana – “

“Hayoo…7beebty…I don’t want an answer now, bs I expect you to call me in a couple of days…oo I expect good news from you – whether for the good of weldy 3baid or benty Hayoo is up to you…oo entay tadreen ana shkether a7ebich ya gumar no matter what your decision will be…etfa8na?”

“Inshallah 5alty”