Saturday, January 31

Contrasting Realities 14

missed you guys ;**
extra long post since i've been away for so long =)

It took a lot of effort on my behalf to keep my eyes in their sockets for the next few moments. I sat there with my butter knife in one hand and my toast slice in the other, assuming that my jaw was wide open but still, having no power to close it whatsoever.

“It’ll look nice in your hair. It goes with what you’re wearing” he said, after what seemed like an eternity of silence.

I swallowed loudly.

“So you got this for me?”

“Well, I saved it for you. It came with breakfast actually” he said while pointing to the empty vase on the side of the tray and holding my gaze, making sure his eyes never left mine.

I exhaled deeply. As the air escaped forcefully from my lungs, I felt my heart slow down and the sweat forming on my forehead evaporate. Once more, I regained control over my jaw muscles and closed the entrance to my mouth.

“Thanks” I said with a grateful smile. I wanted to tell him that his sweet little gesture made so much difference in my pathetic excuse of a day. I didn’t though, because it meant that I would have to explain to him why it was a pathetic excuse of a day.

“Let me help you with that” he said, reaching into my hair and fitting it nicely into the side of my head.

“There we go. Yala 3ad, now that you look all pretty, lets get out of here gabl la net2a5ar” he said as he looked back at me, with my now fitted rose. He flashed me one of his smiles.

Was that a twinkle I saw in his eyes?

We walked together down the street leading to university, chatting a little about how gloomy the weather was. Even though I was enjoying his company, that little voice in my head kept telling me that this day wasn’t going to continue running so smoothly. I ignored the feeling, though, as I trotted happily towards the lecture hall.

On our way, I called Layla, who told me that she will be arriving tomorrow afternoon. I was happy to hear that until she told me that she was coming alone because the other couldn’t find any flight reservations. I told her about what had happened with the hotel as well, so she can tell her husband, but he didn’t seem to mind, knowing that we were sharing the suite with M7ammad, his best friend.

Even though we had arrived 15 minutes before the session started, the lecture hall that accommodated 500 people was packed. The only place we managed to find was one big enough for one overweight person. We had no other choice but to squeeze into it, after politely asking everyone to make as much space for us as they could.

I understood the true meaning of the words dangerously close as I sat next to him in that space. Our bodies were practically glued. Every time his arm casually brushed against mine, goosebumps made their way down my spine and throughout my body. It didn’t help at all when he put his arm on the bench behind my back. Since we were squeezed into a very small area, the moment he removed his arm, my body rapidly slid across the space that it had occupied. His arm was now literally around me, though not touching me at all, and fixed on the top of my bench the whole time.

I was relieved when the session was over, and practically jumped out of my seat. Looking around me, though, at the people who couldn’t find a seat and were sitting on the floor, the closeness didn’t seem to matter too much. But even after we got up, his M7 still lingered in my head.

The right side of my body immediately felt cold when I stood, since it was practically lodged into his side when we were seated. I realized I was actually disappointed that I was no longer connected to him physically, telling myself it was because he had kept me warm, but not entirely believing myself. Naturally, I assumed that was why I caught my body involuntarily (and subconsciously) brushing against his as I walked by his side.

This is not going to be a good day…

By the time we finished our sessions and got out registration papers sorted, it was nearly 7pm. We left the university’s campus and headed for lunch (or rather dinner). M7ammad suggested a nice Italian place near Piccadilly, so we took the tube to get there. To my luck, there was some vandalism at the station we’re stopping at, and we were stuck on the train for hours. M7ammad left me to stare at the floor and ceiling while he slept through it all. I was lost in my own chain of thoughts when his head fell on my shoulders while he was asleep. I looked at him.

And I couldn’t take my eyes off him…

Even though I couldn’t see his most striking feature, the absence of his piercing blue eyes added so much serenity to his face. His M7 was now mixed with the fresh minty smell coming out of his hair. He had the most subtle smile on his face. Not a sly one, not a mysterious one – one that you saw on the faces of newborns, when their lips form the faintest curved line. He looked like an angel.

His head was starting to fall off my shoulders to the front. I lightly held it and put it back on, but it fell again. So, once again, I put his head on my shoulder, but this time left my palm on the side of his face to fix it there. A few minutes later, his body sank a little more into my side and his head sank a little more into my shoulder. He lifted his hand and rubbed his eye a little, while his mouth went on chewing what I presumed to be air, before forming a wide smile.

Then, unpreceeded and unannounced, his hand fell from his face onto my thigh.

This is not going to be a good day…

Electric currents zoomed throughout my body, going up and down, left and right, inside and out. I froze and my body became rigid. I stopped breathing. When I could finally gather my thoughts, I looked back at his face to find him still fast asleep. I wanted to move his hand from my thigh, but decided to leave it there because I didn’t want to wake him up and wonder why it was there in the first place. He left me with my own train of thoughts until I woke him up when we had to leave.

We arrived at the restaurant at nearly 10pm, relieved to find that it was still open while the rest of the city lay in dead silence. Our meal was eaten in silence, partly out of exhaustion and partly out of hunger. Before we left the restaurant, I excused myself to go to the bathroom. As I went through the contents of my purse, my hands made it to my phone.

My heart sank when I saw that the only missed call was from my dad and nothing from 3abboud. For some reasons, I made my way to the inbox and read the first message there. The one I got from him this morning. I didn’t realize how emotional I was until I saw a tear fall on my screen. I looked back to the mirror infront of me, and the pained expression on my face just killed me.

This is not going to be a good day…

“Kaifa” I said out loud, “If he wants to be that way, so be it. Ana ma sawwaitla shay” I told myself reassuringly. Somehow, my words made me feel better, and forced the tears in my eyes to dry up. While texting my dad, I forced any thought of him to the back of my head as I stepped out of the bathroom to find M7ammad waiting for me so we can head back to the hotel.

“Shall we?” he said, as he held the door open for me.

We walked back to the underground station, only to find out that it was still closed. Having not found a taxi in sight, we decided to walk until we did. I came to find out that, like me, M7ammad was a big fan of walking, and that he walked for several hours everyday. I, on the other hand, was in severe pain given the 10cm heels I was wearing. But I was enjoying his company too much to complain, even though we were just chit-chatting about nothing in particular. It was soothing to have someone to talk to after the hectic day I’ve had. He was taking my mind off a lot of things that I didn’t want to think about.

After walking for quite a few hours, we realized that we had gotten too close to the hotel. We were amazed at home time flew by while we were wrapped up in our own conversations. Passing by a small grocery store, we decided to buy some drinks until we got back to the hotel. As we were leaving, M7ammad asked the owner for directions back to our hotel. The owner stepped out of the store with M7ammad and towards the street, showing him exactly where to go. Walking behind them, I saw three men outside wanting to step in as well. They stopped in their way, though, and signaled for me to exit before them. Realizing that their breaths reeked of alcohol, I didn’t make any eye contact with them and did as I was told.

Once I was within the narrow doorframe, one of the men quickly stepped up into the narrow entrance, and I felt his entire body against mine. I felt his hands grabbing my butt and squeezing it tightly. He whispered something into my ear as his neck came into contact with mine, but amidst the horror and his thick British accent, the only signals that made their way into my brain were the smell of the alcohol that nauseated me, and his hand still on my bottom.

Even though this whole scenario only lasted the split second that it would take any normal person to step out of a door, time was moving very very slowly. In the beginning, I simply froze, not believing what was happening and not knowing what to do. Then, I prayed to God to just help me move my muscles and get out of that forsaken narrow entrance. When I did regain control over my muscles, I stepped out as fast as I could, violently pushing him away and watching him fall back into the street in the process. The two men behind him had dangerous smiles plastered to their faces, despite the fact that they couldn’t even stand upright while they were drunk.

After I stepped out, I stopped midway in my step. Partly because I was too shocked and frightened, and partly because I didn’t know what to do. Even though I wasn’t looking at him, I felt M7ammad walking towards me. I thought he had found the way, but the closer he got to me, the more I felt angry vibes coming out of him. When he got to where I was, he didn’t stop and continued his way towards the drunken man. When he walked past me though, I felt heat radiating out of his body and I heard him breathing louder and faster.

This is not going to be a good day…

I came back to my senses.

“M7ammad, la tsawy salfa he’s drunk”

“Well, well, well…looks like we’ve got a bunch of Muhammad-loving terrorists down here. Whatcha gonna do, big guy?”

M7ammad’s face turned into the deepest shade of crimson, and I saw his hands turn into fists. I ran over to him and held his hand, pulling him back.

“M7ammad, he’s drunk. Please la tsawy salfa, lets just walk away”

“Entay ma shefty shsawa!!” he yelled, looking at me with eyes that signaled rage. He slipped his hand out of mine. I quickly stepped infront of him and watched the sweat flowing down his face like it was a river.

“M7ammad, look at me. Just let it go. Tekfa, please just let it go” I said, looking into his deep blue eyes.

“Haya, mo mn 9ijich!! Ana ma agdar asket 3la hal ma95ara” he screamed while looking directly into my eyes. He was scaring me.

“What’s the matter, Muhammed? Need somebody to hold us down, now do we?”

I felt his entire body shake, even though I was standing quite a distance away from him. His face became redder, and his eyes looked menacing. His now-fisted hands were rising, as if in slow motion, and making their way to the drunken man’s face.

“M7ammad tekfa 3shany” I begged him with tears flowing down my face.

Upon hearing my breaking voice, his fist took a detour and collided with the wall that the drunken man was leaning against, only centimeters away from his face. I was breathing heavily and tears were streaming down my face. The taunting expression on the drunken man’s face disappeared when he saw the indentation of M7amamd’s fist in the wall, and the blood mixing with the cement as he pulled his fist away.

I pulled some tissue out of my purse and slowly, even hesitantly, walked towards M7ammad. I put my arm around his, and put my other hand on his fist, trying to pull it into the tissue. It was difficult to move it though – his entire body seemed to be molded in that position.

This is not going to be a good day…

“M7ammad walk with me. Yala please tekfa. Tra ga3d t3awerly eedy M7ammad”

It took a while for his body to follow through with his arm that I was holding. I felt his tense muscles and his hot body. I could even feel his rapid pulse with my arms wrapped so tightly against his. As we walked away, I tried to make conversation to calm him down, but in the back of my head, I was just praying that the night would end at this. He never replied to me; he just kept walking forward with his fist still clenched in the tissue paper in my palm.

I had lost all sensation of time and place when he suddenly stopped in the middle of an empty street.

“Shit! Haya you’re shaking like a leaf!”

I snapped back to reality to realize that both my hands were still wrapped tightly around his arm that his suit jacket was now creased. I could even feel the indentation I left on his arm underneath his shirt. When I loosened my grip, I realized I wasn’t just shaking, I was practically vibrating.

“Wayhech mafee loun. You’re as pale as a ghost!” he said in a panicking voice.

I suddenly burst into tears. I don’t know why it came now, but it was like the pickle on the top of the giant crap sandwich that was my day.

“I don’t like drunk people! I dont like racist people! I don’t like people eli kil youm eb 7al! I don’t understand why everything has to keep going wrong for me. I just want today to ymer 3la 5air. Is that too much to ask? Why cant today just simply be over? Tell me am I asking for a lot?!” I said in a high pitched tone - the high pitched tone that I use when my frustration exceeds its limits. I wept and wept and wept, feeling my make-up running across my face and not caring. I just wanted to cry.

“Shhhhhh...its gonna be okay. I know its been a very tough day for you. I’m so sorry. It’s gonna be okay” he said, as he took me into his arms and held me tight. I cried on his shoulders for what seemed like an eternity. I knew this had nothing to do with today. It was about my confusion with 3abboud, my worry about Dr. Nasser, Rana’s attitude and the new side of M7ammad I was seeing. It was like a big cocktail of feelings. Things were piling up and I was simply too overwhelmed to know how to act.

When the sobbing finally stopped, I pulled away from M7ammad’s arms and looked at the wet part on his jacket that contained all my tears. Realizing what had just happened, I looked to the ground in shame. He pulled my chin up with one hand, and gently wiped my tears with the other. He smiled; a happy smile. This time, he held it there, giving me a chance to take it all in. I couldn’t stop staring at his face that was lit up so beautifully by the simple curve of his lips.

Just like I thought the first time I saw it, it took my breath away.

“I wanna see your beautiful smile. Tra ma buga shay belyoom; cham sa3a oo e5ale9 oo bacher nabdy youm ydeed” he said ever-so-gently.

Tears continued running down my face.

“Yala 3ad la yshoofch a7ad mn elshareka al7en oo tfashleenna” he said, imitating Dr. Nasser’s voice.

I laughed a little. I tasted my tears as my mouth parted.

“3afya 3laich. Don’t worry Haya, everything will be okay”. Saying that, he put my head on his shoulder and his head on top of mine. He then wrapped his arms around me so tightly that it actually hurt, and we started walking again. As I sunk my head into his chest, I felt safe and protected for the first time today. We walked back to the hotel like that in silence.

When we got to the suite’s door, he removed his arms from around me to open the door. I suddenly felt cold, even though we were indoors. Even after we entered, I felt like there was something missing with his arms not around me. I felt vulnerable.

“Are you feeling better now?” he said, looking at me, and giving me his real smile again. It was even more captivating now that I saw it in the light. It was strange to see it twice in the same day.

“Ee much.”

“Tabeen takleen shay?”

“La2 7addy ta3bana…I think I’ll just sleep”

“7atan ana wayed ta3ban. Its been a long hectic day, hasn’t it?”

I nodded.

“Tabeen shay?”


“Allah ysalmich. T9b7een 3la 5air.”

Even though I entered my room with a million thoughts in my head, I could swear I fell asleep before my head hit the pillow.

With a huge smile on my face too…


Silhouette Crime said...



awww he made her smile


Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

welcome back we missed you too ALOT :)

great post as always bs wain
3aboud :(

Louz said...

Welcome Back :D
hope you Have more Posts :$;p

moi said...

awwwwwwww hes so cute! ga3da at5ayal his blue eyes:P, why dont you post part 15 now?(A) since im so fathya o i'll stay home ajabel hal laptop(A):P

Anonymous said...

thank you!

Anonymous said...

first hahahahaha ,,, great post keep out the good work now that ur fathya (a)

libero anima said...

duuuuuuuuuuuuude !
a5eeeeeeeeeeran !!!!

i loved this post waaaaaaayed !
and m7ammad is being sooo aaaaaaah *drolling*=p

Karamilah said...

is she falling for mohamed.
I didn't like 3abood much though, let her love mohamed, bas ilmishkila she is with 3abood already, sh-hal 7osa

Jam3iiya(L) said...

alaaaaaaaa such a lovely post!
so youll be posting nice long post like this more often now that exams are over??????? ;D

L said...

a7es ena she's in luv with him but she duzn know it..ive been there.. cant wait 4 the next post ;*

N1/2 said...

obeeey g3d a7aate who she is gonna end up with and what shes gonna tell the other person who she decides to leave;s

Lost b2amreeka. said...

awwwwwwwww!!!!! <3333 stupid drunk losers -.- a-hate tafkeerhom!!

Anonymous said...

Saaaaaaaaave for the famouse Anooony ;****

Jacqui said...

You've truly been missed and wow such a drama filled part, I just can see how she will fall for m7ammad and fall out of love with abdulla altho she never was in love with him.. i'm hoping laila doesn't make it and they end up being the only ones there :P

love ;** said...

loooooooooooooooooooove your blog....cant wait for your new posts!
I passed you the butterfly award ;**

Anonymous said...


jooj said...

firsssst :D yaaay awl mara !!

i <3 m7amd! its official!

7aLeeB KaKaW said...

YaaaaaaaaY.. first... let me read.. :P !!

Anonymous said...

waaay m7ammad eyanin ;**
wintay tyanineen ;**
welcome back, you've been missed ;**


A Journal Entry said...

la 9ij a7ib m7amad!

Gutter Flower said...

a7laaaaaaaa paaaaaaart! thaaat was amazing walla! i told u i love m7amaaad! now i love him even more.. shit this part brought back alotta memories ahahah.. it was sooo nice! LOVED it! plz let her falllll foooor m7ammmmmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad.. u've outdone urself as usual.. keep up the GREAT work! ;*

Cuteness said...

yazeenhom wallah eshawgoon tara :))) bs 7mad maskeen shwy... Ooo welcome back !!!!

On-The-Rocks said...

no comments, i just wanted to say that i read it and i'm glad that you posted the new post i kinda missed reading an episode of contrasting realities.

i3jibatni fikrat il warda...

loved how they sat next to each other in the classroom

enjoyed the part where he slept on her shoulders then fu5ith-ha

it was good letting her mind go away from her thoughts from walking back to the hotel with mu7ammad

mu7ammad turned out to be a very caring person, and might be in love with haya

it was heart breaking seeing how haya kept her problems to her self then suddenly just started crying after this incident

i think tomorrow is going to be a good day, i think they'll have breakfast downstairs and not in the suite......

looking forward for a new post in lets say 2 days? since you're on a break i demand more and more :P

lost said...


more more more!
i wanna walk with someones arms around me in london :(

ĐǻñĎõøðñ said...

sihouette crime,

awwal shay, i congratulate you for being first after the comments eli ta7at ;)

oo i like the whole M7ammad superman idea ;)


anonymous 7:25,
second =(
bs close enough ;**


anonymous 7:27,
3abboud mesteree7 ;Pp
la2 9ij he's all za3lan and stuff..a7esa he's acting like a baby =(


im hoping so too ;)

lets wish for the best! =)


awww =(
6e;3ay 6el3ay ya bnaya its a weekend!
abuse it! ;)


anonymous 7:32,
7beeby your welcome anytime ;**
tamreen amr! =)


anonymous 7:51,
i'll do my best! =)
i promise to update more frequently eb hal 2 weeks! =)


libero anima,
ee wallah i'll be sitting in the corner while drooling yammich =\

ĐǻñĎõøðñ said...

maybe ;)
who knows ;)

bs ee bt9eer 7osa i guess if things change =(

it wont be pretty =\


more posts inshallah ;**

bs this long is kind of 8awiya!

ive been working on it for quite a while ;)

either long, or more choose ;)


maybe she is...who knows? ;)
next post will be soon inshallah, bs 5al arta7 mn this one first ;)


N 1\2,
hehe ;)
i like that you're seeing that coming ;)
we'll see about it soon i guess! =)


lost b2amreeka,
dont we all?!
i really hate how drunk people act especially lma they start invading other people's privacy =(


anonymous 9:24,
anony will be maaaaaaaaaad! =(
bs ya7lailch wallah ;**


i feel bad for 3abboud! =(

oo we'll see about layla i guess ;)

you might like her more than you think ;)


thanks 7beeby ;**
wallah i love yours more ;**

will check your award now inshallah!

merci! =D

ĐǻñĎõøðñ said...

laish ma yaity bser3a? =(


loooool! not first again ;)

bs ee, i love 7ammoud oo his blue eyes too ;**


7aleeb kakaw,
not so first ;)
love ya wallah babe ;**
happy reading! =D


ur comment eyanen ;**
oo entay tyaneeneen more wallah ;**

i missed you guys more wallah =)


a journal entry,
7ata ana wallllaaaaaah ;**


gutter flower,
awww ;**
im glad you liked it =)
oo we'll see about 7ammoud soon enough i guess! =)


7mad = 3abboud, 9a7? ;)
ee oho mskeen bs shako he ruins her day!
someone had to make things better a5er shay ;)


im glad you liked it =)

i think tomorrow might be a better day too...egoloon youm lek oo youm 3laik, mo? ;)

oo i'll do my best to post in two days inshallah!

afa 3laik bas enta tamer amr =)


ee 7ata ana i want!
im still on the lookout though =(

Anonymous said...

Wnasaaa!! Allah y36eech 2alf 3afya 3la hal MAGNIFICENT post 9ej 9ej 7ada i liked it =D

Omg Mohammed this person kel mra ashof feh something new he amazed me lol and I feel so sad for Haya she faced a very bad day she has been through alot lately and not to mention how this gentle man have changed to way much better and now I can't say anything about him cuz he really proved ena 5osh wa7d lol, so it's really gonna be hard for her to keep up with all of this =( Abdullah mn 9ob and Mohammed mn 9ob as well.

Now I can say welcome back Dandoon =D really missed you =(


Missy said...

take me to london NOW ;p

Limited said...

waaaaw =D m7ammd the hero =D

i got lost in their world while i was reading that ..

Starlight<3 said...

Aww, omg I love M7ammad <3

He has everything a girl would want in a guy,

Poor Haya, but I want her to end up with M7ammad, even though she's with 3abood.

You should add some drama, maybe that 3abood comes to visit her and fines her with M7ammad ;P

Drama makes the world go round,

Loving the post ;*

& I'm dying for the next one


Cuteness said...

weeeee haha mn kthr elblogs ele agrahom gmt atla5ba6 ;))) yes 3abood mo 7mad

lost said...

obviously, your one of my favorite blogs!
and therefore...
i had to pass you the butterfly award! :)

PaLoMiNo said...

waiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii 3ala 7amoooooooooood ;PPpp

ĐǻñĎõøðñ said...

awwww =)
wallah i missed you guys too! =D
im really glad you liked the part...even though there was alot of negative energy around it ;)


im in if you're in wallah!
im dying to go there =-(


lost in their world is a good thing, 9a7? ;)
aby hero 7aggy, may9eer? =(


i love m7ammad too =(
bs 7aram 3abboud kaser 5a6ry, even though menba66a chabdy menna after what he did =(

we'll see about the drama soon, i guess! ;)


looool ;)
3ady 3ady 7beeby elzebda blnehaya ;)
as long as we love them! =D


awwwww ;**

thats sooo sweet of you ;**

im one of your favorites?!

awwww ;**

me blushyy! =D

thanks 7beebty ;**


ee ee ee ee aby 7ammoudddddddd!! =(

Pearla said...

when is the next post coming ?? i neeed more LOL ..
wow m7maaad uuu5 ,, i swear butterflies were everywhere in this chapter ! wow ...
need moore loong ones too ;)

Aurous said...

I'm liking M7mad more and more...
bs where is 3aboud?

next part ebser3a plz :p

ĐǻñĎõøðñ said...

im glad you likey ;**
butterflies are good, 9a7? ;)

i have no idea when the next part is, bs im hoping soon! ;)


3abboud mesteree7 ;Pp
madree shino salfeta, m3a9eb el2a5 ;Pp

Anonymous said...
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