Saturday, January 17

Contrasting Realities 13

I know I'm supposed to be away, bs here's another post! =D

I know its not too long, but its the best I could do given my hectic schedule =\

3ad halmarra 9ij I'm gonna be away for a while =\

See you in 2 weeks I guess =(
I'll miss you guys ;**


I looked deep into my eyes in the reflection, and spoke to myself.

“No crying Haya. Ma7ad yestahal dmoo3ich. La tabcheen”

This is not going to be a good day…

“May5alef, it wont be a good day, bs hamm ma ra7 nabchy..shino entay awwal wa7da ymer 3aleha a bad day? Wla hatha your first bad day aslan?”

I knew I made sense, but I still couldn’t fight any of the tears flowing from my eyes. Every time I remembered 3abdallah’s tone of voice and his harsh words, I cried more. Every time I remembered how much I missed my 3abboudy, I cried more. Every time I looked up at my face in the mirror, and saw the pain in my eyes, I cried more.

And every time I saw myself crying more, I cried more...

After what seemed like an eternity, I somehow managed to stop crying. Even though I kept telling myself it was because I finally could gather up all my strength, I knew deep down inside that it was because I ran out of tears. Realizing that I was staring into space, I looked at my face to see that the only item of make-up that I had applied this morning, my mascara, was forming millions of blotches around my puffy eyes and irregular streams across my face.

Even when I tried to give myself an encouraging smile, I couldn’t. My skin was too stiff to move owing to the droplets, salt and mascara that lay dry on top of it.

I forced the smile through, though. Watching the scales peel off my face, I felt like I could break through this ugly day, just like I managed to break the dry film on my skin. Feeling a tiny hint of optimism, I skipped to the bathroom and washed my face with hot water, then lightly dabbed it dry. Taking out my make-up kit, I opted for adding a little more make-up around my eyes to hide my red, swollen eyes. For even more camouflage, I released my loose bun and finger-brushed my hair with my head upside down. When I put my head back up, my long brown curls fell on my grey jacket, hiding the wet black spots that had formed on it.

Something’s still missing…

I paced around the bathroom for a while, trying to recollect whatever it is that I was looking for. Then, it clicked.

I ran back to the room and opened my bag. I ran my hand through it left and right, until my palm felt the velvety texture of the cold bottle. I took it out and, unlike my usual habit, heavily sprayed the Deep Red by Hugo on my clothes, my hair, and lastly, the nape of my neck. I took a deep breath, allowing my favorite perfume to fill every last piece of my lungs.

Carefully, I placed my laptop bag on my shoulder and headed to the door. Before I walked out, though, I looked at myself in the mirror. My now lit-up face and my flowing hair, combined with the confident smile I gave myself, made me feel like I was on top of the world as I stepped out of my room.

M7ammad was sitting on the sofa, with breakfast on the table where our legs were the night before. He was nicely dressed in a navy blue suit, a baby blue shirt and a silk tie the same color as his eyes. He looked like he’s just walked off a catwalk.

I was still angry at him, and I made sure my face said it all. Without looking at him, I headed for the door of the suite.


I turned around not saying anything. I was giving him the silent treatment. My eyes gave him the shtabee look, but my heart was skipping beats as I silently drooled over the CK model sitting on the sofa in my suite.

“I ordered breakfast”

“Thanks maby” I said and started turning again towards the door.

“Bs I ordered for you”

“I didn’t ask you to” I replied rudely.

He got up to his feet and walked towards me. The suit accentuated his tall, well-built physique. The colors accentuated his eyes. He was wearing another one of his smiles. He stood infront of me.

Possibly a little too close…

He took a deep breath and, if I didn’t know any better, I would’ve though he was taking in my smell.

But I knew better…

“I’m sorry about this morning. I know I was very rude, bs wallah I’m always like this when I wake up”

I continued looking into his eyes, not flinching.

“I’m not trying to justify myself and I know it’s not an excuse, bs I just wanted to apologize for my behavior”

His apology seemed sincere, but I wasn’t going to let him go that easily. He needs to realize that there are limits. Just because I asked him to stay here doesn’t mean I’m his slave now.

“Oo etha tadree ena you’re like that, why did you ask me to wake you up? Why didn’t you set your alarm? I don’t understand ya3ny, you knew you’re gonna be rude to me if I woke you up, bs you asked me to do it anyway?”

“No, its not like that. I thought I’d wake up 3la6ool; I didn’t realize I was so tired. I was afraid I’d oversleep. Oo honestly, waking up because of an alarm is very impersonal and just ruins my day. I’d rather a human being woke me up. Does that explain to you why I never show up to work early?”

I couldn’t help the smile that formed on my face.

“Zain, bs la t3eed’ha please”

“I promise I won’t" he said giving me a wide smile that displayed his flawless pearly teeth, "Now yallah, lets have breakfast 3shan yamdeena nro7 oo la net2a5ar”

He took the laptop bag off my shoulder and placed it on the floor next to the sofa. Just like last night, we sat infront of the TV, except there was butter, jam and toast instead of the burger and salad. M7ammad handed me a slice of toast and placed a coffee mug infront of me.


“Two please”

He leaned over to get the sugar from the far end of the table. I put some butter on my toast, and tried to spread it. It was too difficult to do that though; the butter and toast were too cold and, now, hard. As I squeezed the knife deeper into the toast, it started breaking in my hands and falling on my skirt and the floor. A shred of butter slowly started melting on my skirt, leaving a tiny pin-head stain on it.

This is not going to be a good day…

Realizing that there was no time for me to change into anything else, I quickly brushed the bread crumbs away from my skirt and onto the floor before more butter stains made their way through. I let out a sigh of relief when I couldn’t even tell where the tiny stain was now that the bread crumbs were gone.

Silently swearing at the stupid toast and butter that ruined my outfit, I finally looked up from the bread crumb-filled floor.

M7ammad’s outstretched hand was holding a freshly picked red rose and handing it to me.

This is not going to be a good day…


M said...

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw <3 5aywaly 3aboooud!

desertpalms said...

i saw the small text, 3abali secret msg ;p

loveeeed this part..especially Mo's blue eyessss ahhh <'3

and foreal? TWO WEEKS!!! ur going away for twoooooooooooooo whole weeeeeeeeeeeks??!! what am i gona do withoutttttttttttttttttttttt uuuuuuuuu dana banana ='(

..:: P.ANONYMOUS ::.. said...

wow .. this post was a total surprise : D
ya36eech il 3afya 7abeebty : **

mwafiga inshallah o wishing u the best of luck ;*

Anonymous said...

booom @@

madre etha awal wal ala2 :P

zuz said...

alf e9alat wel salam 3lek ya7abeb allaaaaaaaaaah mu7amad kololosh:D:D: a5eeran??:P

ps: havent read it yet;\

Charmbracelet said...

thannkkk youuu!=*
mskeena hal haya!=| I feel her =p

zuz said...

ok i read it! 7araaam haya i wanna hug her, o a7med shako e9er 7eloww:@@ lesh e9er 7elow o zo'3A!!! may9er!! o ollah 2 weeks?:S:S:S 7da waaayeedd im gonna miss u and ur story;(

Anonymous said...

ola :(

ashw ai wasnt very excited chan tefahslat :P

khal agra now :P

Zaina said...

it's reallyy not her day ;p

ĐǻñĎõøðñ said...

7addich 5awanty fee ;Pp


dont know what the hell was up with that =\
fixed it now though ;)

bs ee...remember the hectic schedule?
next week im away oo the week after 3 exams =\


im glad you're surprised...i think ;)
oo thanks so much! =D


ako 3 people yen6agoon fougich ;Pp
bs to be fair, entay elyom met2a5ra ;Pp


ba3ad shasawy?! =\
med school sucks!
bs weddy ayabeb weyach! ma3aref =(


ur welcome anytime ;**

okay mo anytime =\
anytime after these 2 weeks! ;Pp


7ammoud mal 6ag!
ana me7tara mn haya!
why does she get two good guys! =\

wallah im gonna miss you too 7beeby ;**
ra7 abchy al7en =(


loooooooool ;)
next time faster ;Pp


no lel2asaf =\
and its only gonna get worse from there =\

Anonymous said... gonna miss you too much

maaaaaaaa raaaaaaaa7 agdar at7amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal!!

*breaks down in tears*


Lost b2amreeka. said...

a7eb ketabtich wayeddd i couldn't help thinking way3a ana laish magdar akteb chithi :/

lovesittt ;*

moi said...

wai a7es a7mad jameeel:$! i want an a7med:$!, good luck with ur studies hun:* o lat6awleen

FourMe said...

I want one ck model plz !

7aLeeB KaKaW said...

walaaaaaaaaain... does he ever give up... !!? :@

Aurous said...

a5eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh 3la 7amoood w 3aboood!

Can she pick one and give me the other?!! :p

The 2 weeks are going to be difficult on us, but you need to go study!!! ;)

Good Luck

Nemo said...

7aram maskeen 3aboody :p

thnx sweeeeety 3al post :)

yalla go back to ur studies .. we'll be waiting :))

libero anima said...

aaaaw i'd be so confused if i were here >< m7amad ? 3aboud ? m7amad ? 3aboud ? .. its sooo hard =p

we're gonna miss you dandooonanana ! =D

A Journal Entry said...

ya 7lailaaaaah!

Limited said...

ooo i want a red rose from a CK model ;P so u know what i want for my birthday .. a CK model+red rose!

ĐǻñĎõøðñ said...

no no nooooo!!
dont break down into tears!!

ana ma at7amal!

7beeeeby ;**



lost b2amreeka,
7beeby wallah ;**
i didnt know i could write like this till i started blogging =)
i love you too ;**


no no!
you want no a7mad's 9adgeeeny!
m7ammad's on the other hand....



if you find one, yebeeely!
ga3da adawerhom!


7aleeb kakaw,
you never know ;)
atleast ga3d yratheeha mo 5alaha t6eg rasha bl6ofa ;Pp


no may9eer!
cz shes going to pick one and give me the other!! ;Pp


hes not mskeen!
shako e3a9eb 3aleha!
atleast hathak yratheeha! ;)


libero anima,
i wouldnt be confused...

id take em both ;**

ill miss you too 7beeby ;**


a journal entry,

abyyyyyy! =(


you know, my birthday is bacher...
you should get me both bacher..

or either, i dont mind ;)

Pourqoui said...

i luv m7amad and i think she should luv him too LOL ;p waaay hes so cuuute b3dain 3ady ya3ni laish tz3al wayed ilwalad kan dayikh ;p ana marrat a3a9ib 3ala a7d even though agooluhum ygawmoony ;p hes so cute ;p i luv him etha ma tbe ana abe ;p

Missy said...

7moooood all the wayyy ;p

5ali 3abooud ystreeee7

tigerlilly said...

a7ib your writing and your story! i went back and read it all from the beginning and you left me wanting more! mashalla seriously your writing is amazing! xx

Change said...

I love the way you write.. leesh ana lam7a9la la 7amoud wala 3aboud..? hmmm.. elmohim, mwafega isnhallah.. ;)

Think-Become said...

i think it is going to be a good day trust me, m7ammad is much better to be around haya that 3abdaalla....

Stitch said...

7elwa ur story :D wayn algaali wa7ed 3yoona zirg? Bu jassum ma 3inda u5u 9'3eer? shay? ya3ni mo infant bas ya3ni.. gadna.. etha legaitee goleela stitch tsallim 3alaih ;D

Hessa said...

I hate 3abdalla :p m7md is better eb wayed <3 ! thaanks dandoon weee'r gnaa miss u :D

On-The-Rocks said...

hello, i have changed the address of my blog.

new blog:


Abdulrazzaq (previously think-become)

Captivated said...

Whyyyy Can't She have BOTH :'(:'( Kaser kha6re 3aboood bss I want her to be with mohammed!!

s is for said...

droool @ mu7ammad.
ck model??...*sigh*
red rose?... 0_0

Anonymous said...

Allah ya5th el exams :$ even though ana ma 5l9t bs couldn't help checking your blog :>

Wallah hal Mohammed ma yn3rfla :P mra y9er 5osh 2admi o mrat yb6 el chabd o a7es ma7d y3rf ysn3a ela Haya :P emasheta on the straight line lol, bs 7ada 9damni bl red rose lol ._. fe 3abooood tra lol :P !! bs yallah ma7d ydri shno by9er eb el upcoming posts :>

Good luck eb your exmas o thanks 3la hal post :D


ĐǻñĎõøðñ said...

5alas agoolaha ta36eech eyah ;)
oo etha ma taby 3abboud, agoolaha ta36eeny eyah ;)


enaho mesteree7 la t7ateen ;)
bs 5al ta36eeny eyah damha mesteree7 ;Pp


awww ;**
thanks so much 7beebty wallah entay eli amazing!
im glad you likey =)


wallah 7ata ana im wondering laish mo m7a9la! =\
zain maby both, bas wa7ed!
ana mo 6ama3a, ana 8anoo3a =D


loool ;)
who knows how the say will end? ;)
everyone is cheering for 7ammoud; kesar 5a6ry 3abboud ;)


ana sha59eyan lel7een ga3da adawer 3alam el3yoooon elzerg ;)
oo ana agoola ena entay tsalmeen 3aleh ;)


waaiiiiii =(
7aram =(
3abboud eyanen! ;)


input noted! =)
thanks for letting me know! ;)


she cant have both cz she's selfish!
ana wa7ed oo ehya wa7ed 3ad mo chithee! =(


s is for,
i know!!
7ata loo mo both!
ana mo m7a9la shay belmarra, la CK model wala red rose! =(


feek addiction to blogging nafsy ;Pp

oo 9a7 never know what will happen bl upcoming posts ;)

3asa allah ewafegny oo ywafgk eb our exams...i hope you do great!!

best of luck bro! =)

MashMosh said...

3abood over reacted y3ni wth ?? mo lahal daraga !!
anyways lool m7amad has sweet moves mb hayen ba3d XD

Cuteness said...

chenni chenni balasht a7s ena e7ibha 7aram 7mad eshthanba offfffff 7ada 3abala ;p

Cuteness said...

oops isma 3abdala laish kla 7sbale 7mad ?!? Hmmmm

Anonymous said...

yallla come on when is the naxt cr?? i love it!!!

Gutter Flower said...

mashalla 3alaich ur very talented and ur writing is simply amazing walla.. 7adi hooked! i just read 11, 12 and 13 together knt ban6er lai ma ur back 3ashan i read more posts all together bs i cudnt wait i really wanted to know shbi9eer weya m7amad so i went ahead and read them! 3abood is nice miskeen bs i want her with m7amad.. ahah good luck fi ur exams darling xx

ĐǻñĎõøðñ said...

m7ammad is nothing close to hayyen ;)
ana sha59eyan yannany just writing it lol ;)


may5alef 7amad 3abdallah kolo yemshy ;)
elzebda bl a5er ;)

we'll see about 7ammoud i guess ;)


wallah adree 6awalt 3laikom wayed, just finished my exam today =\

inshallah tomorrow or the day after maximum =)


gutter flower,
awww ;**
thanks 7beebty..entay el amazing wallah ;**

3abboud is a sweetheart wallah gam yakser 5a6ry =\

everyone yaby 7ammoud! =\

Gutter Flower said...

ahaahaha ee yakser il 5a6er 3abood! they're both madri shlon.. y3ni 3abood is a sweetheart.. 7amood is sort of a bad boy.. no3 ili sexy mysterious chethi.. and unfortunately most of us gurls end up falling for the bad boys! n7ib a7ad eyanina.. and when they do nit7al6am =p ahahaaha..

ĐǻñĎõøðñ said...

gutter flower,
tadreen shino? YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT!!! tra its so true wallah e7na naby a7ad eyanena!! ma yamshy weyana swalef awadem san3a!!

9a7 lsanich wallah 9ajja! =\

Gutter Flower said...

uffff agolich 3aad! ahahaha malat 3alaina! =S